More and more people are suffering from health problems caused by a modern lifestyle which cannot be treated with modern medicines. Some people think that a return to traditional medicine should be encouraged. To what extent do you agree?

#people #health #lifestyle #medicines #medicine

this

modern world, many believe that more people are getting sick because modern health facilities cannot balance current behaviour.

This

is true because there are a lot of new diseases these days that modern medicines cannot cover, a rise in lifestyle-related health issues, and the side effects of long-term medication use.

On the other hand

, analyzing the impact of traditional pharmaceuticals, which often encompasses physical, emotional, and spiritual, should brought back to

this

world. Modern medication is not that good for treating contemporary lifestyle health issues. First of all, new diseases that are related to modern lifestyles,

such

as obesity, diabetes, or other diseases

due to

sedentary living and stress levels today, cannot be cured yet using current antibiotics.

Second,

the ineffectiveness of present-day pills in treating chronic conditions will bring another long-term problem to the body.

Therefore

, these make it clear that today's treatment development is inconsistent with modern lifestyle conditions.

In contrast

, some people believe that using the back of traditional medication is one of the solutions that we can choose.

For instance

, someone with a problem with their legs because of an accident can go to yoga therapy to restore the shape of their legs to their original shape.

Besides

treating the feet,

this

method will

also

impact humans emotionally and spiritually because Yoga is one of the best meditations in the world.

Thus

, it becomes apparent that all ages still use traditional treatment. To summarise, the best way we can try is the integration of traditional and modern medicine practices

due to

the disease we want to cure.

Therefore

, it is

also

a clear idea to control the regulation, standardization, and scientific validation of traditional medicine so that the public can widely use it. I believe that the assimilation of traditional and modern medicine will have a good impact on the development of biomedical science.

Submitted by dewintaputri23 on Wed Jan 17 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear and logical structure in your essay by organizing it into distinct paragraphs with clear topic sentences. Introduce each paragraph's main idea early and keep the supporting sentences focused on that idea without straying from the topic.

coherence cohesion

Make effective use of linking words to improve the flow of your essay. Transition smoothly between sentences and paragraphs to guide the reader through your arguments without confusion.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present, but make sure that your thesis statement is clear in the introduction and that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay without introducing new information.

task achievement

Fully respond to all parts of the task by discussing both sides of the argument and stating your position clearly. Provide a balanced analysis throughout and ensure that you address the question directly.

task achievement

Present clear and comprehensive ideas, ensuring that each paragraph explores a single main idea thoroughly before moving on to the next point.

task achievement

Illustrate your points with specific examples. Avoid vague statements and use concrete examples to make your arguments more persuasive and credible.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

310 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
chronic conditions
holistic approach
preventive care
natural remedies
cultural heritage
ancestral knowledge
integration
complementary healthcare
regulation
standardization
scientific validation

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?
It is important to consider how people addicted to use modern technology and our reliance on computer-based technology has become more pronounced than ever before. This essay will explore how we will be dependent on it and how we can take benefit from using it more.
4.5
band
In some places old age is valued,while other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In the modern era, many people think that the older generation is really respected whereas others believe that the younger is more influential. It is the opinion of this writer that the former choice is the best option.
6.5
band
As a result of electronic inventions such as the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
Nowadays, technological developments have strongly changed human life. Electronic creations such as computers, tablets, and smart screens have led to sedentary lifestyles with resulting health problems. I positively agree that technological interventions glue people on the screens, and consequently, they tend to have problems with their bones or suffer obesity. Also, I believe that people should have done more physical activities to reduce these effects.
7
band
Some believe that students should begin learning a language very early in school. Others think these subjects should be taught later. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
While it is often thought that schools should teach students new languages at an early age, others think that these subjects should be taught later. In my opinion, I consider that students should start acquiring new languages very early in school.
7
band
The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the World?
The popularity of English brought about by the flourishing tourism industry has provoked a thought that the language would become the only lingua franca in the world. Although acquiring one global language is advantageous, many latent drawbacks should also be taken into account.

More and more people are suffering from health problems caused by a modern lifestyle which cannot be treated with modern medicines. Some people think that a return to traditional medicine should be encouraged. To what extent do you agree?

Your opinion

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?

In some places old age is valued,while other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

As a result of electronic inventions such as the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Some believe that students should begin learning a language very early in school. Others think these subjects should be taught later. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the World?