In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message

People often talk about whether it's a good idea to tell
kids
they can achieve anything through hard
work
. In
this
essay, I'll talk about the good and not-so-good parts of giving
kids
this
message. On the good side, telling
kids
that working hard is important helps them become strong and positive people. It means they won'
t
give up easily and will keep trying even when things are difficult. They can dream big and believe that if they
work
hard, they can make those dreams come true.
For example
, a kid from a family with not a lot of money might dream of being an astronaut, thinking that studying hard can help them achieve that dream. But, there's a downside too. Always working hard can be tough, and if things don'
t
go well, it can make a person feel really bad. Imagine a student who studies really hard for a test but still doesn'
t
get a good grade. They might feel sad and lose confidence, which can affect how happy they are. In conclusion,
while
telling
kids
that hard
work
is important is good, we
also
need to be careful. Sometimes things don'
t
work
out, and
kids
should learn how to handle that without feeling too sad. Finding a balance between working hard and dealing with tough times is important for
kids
to grow up happy and strong.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
While the essay presents both sides of the argument, more detailed development of ideas and specific examples can strengthen the arguments. Ensure that every main point has an example to support it.
coherence and cohesion
Make use of varied complex structures and cohesive devices to create a more sophisticated and coherent essay. Vary your linking words and aim to build more complex sentences.
task achievement
Adding a summary of the main points in the conclusion can help reinforce your ideas and provide a more decisive ending to the essay.
task achievement
To achieve higher scores, provide a more thorough analysis of the topic discussing various implications and corresponding outcomes of the claim.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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