Education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The issue of providing higher
education
to young people is of utmost importance in several countries.
However
, cultivating literacy skills in adults who lack the ability to read and write is equally essential for society. Governments should allocate more resources to address the needs of
this
population. In my opinion, I support teaching every adult and ensuring they attain a high level of language proficiency.
Additionally
, providing high-quality
education
for youths is
also
a crucial policy for enhancing the national economy.
Firstly
, leading all adults to comprehensively learn and study a language enables effective communication, especially among elderly individuals. If governments invest significantly in enhancing their reading and writing abilities, it not only addresses issues of word recognition but
also
reduces frequent conversational conflicts.
For example
, some elderly adults struggle to send messages with
cellphones
Correct your spelling
cell phones
show examples
, leading to difficulties in communicating with their offspring. If governments are willing to allocate funds to educate seniors, generation gaps could be significantly narrowed.
On the contrary
, some parents prioritize cultivating young pupils as nations require a skilled workforce to bolster future economies. The emphasis on
education
reflects the understanding that a knowledgeable populace is crucial for sustained economic growth.
This
proactive approach by parents underscores the recognition of the pivotal role
education
plays in shaping a nation's prosperity in the years to come. In conclusion,
while
prioritizing higher
education
for young people is vital, investing in adult
education
, particularly in language skills, is equally crucial for societal cohesion. I advocate for a balanced approach that addresses both segments, contributing to a harmonious society and a robust national economy.
Submitted by binyang212 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure of your essay, make sure that each paragraph clearly progresses from one point to the next. Use transitional phrases to create better flow between your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion encapsulate your main points effectively. Your conclusion should reflect the arguments you've made throughout the essay without introducing new information.
task achievement
Support your main points with more detailed examples and data if possible. This will make your argument more convincing and give you a higher score in task achievement.
task achievement
Your essay has a clear response to the task, but to improve further, ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea that is directly related to the question prompt. Avoid deviating into less relevant areas to maintain a high level of task achievement.
task achievement
To upgrade your use of examples, try to include more specific anecdotes, statistics, or studies that relate directly to your argument. This increases the persuasive power of your essay and demonstrates a strong task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: