In some countries, there are more young people enrolled in work based training instead of attending university. Do the advantage of the situation outweigh the disadvantages.

#countries #people #work #university #advantage #situation

In the informational era,

job

markets

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

always expect employees who have practical knowledge related

with

Change preposition

show examples

the specific task. Nowadays, in some parts of the world, many

younsters

Correct your spelling

youngsters

would like to

gether

Correct your spelling

together

practical knowledge rather than

attending

Wrong verb form

attend

show examples

universities. In

this

essay, I will state the advantages and disadvantages of

this

situation.

Firstly

, one of the main advantages of the training based

enrollement

Correct your spelling

enrollment

is that it will help to get

Change the article

show examples

job

easiely

Correct your spelling

easily

as a result

of, they can do tasks properly.

This

is to say that in the competitive business world, companies have to accomplish their work on time so, they want workers with

job

-related training. For

instace

Correct your spelling

instance

, 95 per cent of IT industry firms

eagarly

Correct your spelling

eagerly

waiting to

recruite trainned

Correct your spelling

recruit trained

employees.

And

Correct word choice

Thus

show examples

thus

, it is easy to enter into

job

Add an article

the job

show examples

market for profession expectors.

On the other hand

, the period of getting the practice is the

hardests

Correct your spelling

hardest

time ever for those individuals who would like work-based training rather than going to educational institutions.

This

is to say that, to acquire practical ideas about

the

Correct article usage

show examples

particular occupation, a person

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

to spend a lot of time continuously with

lower

Add an article

a lower

show examples

salary under a

reupted

Correct your spelling

reputed

firm. For

examples

Fix the agreement mistake

example

show examples

, in Sri Lanka, a person

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

gether

Correct your spelling

get her

gather

three years

ground

Change preposition

of ground

show examples

experience in order to

bacome

Correct your spelling

become

a CA finalist.

However

, if he

finished

Wrong verb form

finishes

show examples

his

bachelor

Change noun form

bachelor's

show examples

degree in a university that

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

help to get

the

Change preposition

into the

show examples

profession easily but reputed institutions neglect those people.

To conclude

occupation based

Add a hyphen

occupation-based

show examples

enrollement

Correct your spelling

enrollment

has its own pros and cons when

compare

Change the form of the verb

compared

show examples

with going

universities

Change preposition

to universities

show examples

and educational centres.

Eventhoug

Correct your spelling

Even

Correct word choice

though it

show examples

is difficult to get the training for a position, the benefits in terms of salaries and

job

security

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

higher.

Submitted by ajeevatharsan on Thu Jan 18 2024

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coherence cohesion

Make sure your essay maintains a clear and logical structure throughout. Organize your paragraphs effectively and use clear topic sentences to guide the reader.

coherence cohesion

Include an introduction and a conclusion to frame your essay, and ensure they are clearly related to the question asked.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with relevant examples and explanations. Make sure your examples are specific and clearly link back to the points they're intended to illustrate.

task achievement

Fully address all parts of the task, and make your position clear throughout the essay. Ensure you provide a balanced discussion if the essay requires an examination of both sides of an issue.

task achievement

Make your ideas clear and easy to understand. Aim for comprehensive explanations and avoid overly complex sentences that might confuse the reader.

task achievement

Use examples that are relevant and specific to the question. Avoid generic or unclear examples that do not strengthen your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

work-based training
hands-on experience
tuition fees
career progression
skill gaps
technical expertise
tailored learning
personal growth
extracurricular opportunities
specialized skill set
career adaptability
job market

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In some countries, there are more young people enrolled in work based training instead of attending university. Do the advantage of the situation outweigh the disadvantages.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think it is more important to provide parks and sports facilities than to provide shopping centers in these new town for people to spend their free time. To what extent doo you agree or disagree?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The extended family (grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles) is less important now than it was in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In recent years the family structures have changed as well as the family roles. What are the changes that are occouring. What do you think can be done to mend it?

University students often focus on one subject. However, some people think that universities sholud encourage students to learn a range of other subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many countries today are experiencing problems associated with noise pollution (excessive noise pollution above a normal background noise). What are the causes of phenomenon and what effects does it have on the people affected?