Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Many parents and schools can see the benefits of using
smartphones
to support children
’s learning process. However
, introducing such
development
to children
leads to them using it on a daily basis. In my view, this
should be perceived as a negative development
since smartphones
can affect on
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
children
’s cognitive development
as well as
their physical well-being.
Firstly
, it will reduce children
’s attention span. This
is because almost all of the entertainment content in social media is frequently produced creatively in form
of short videos. Correct article usage
the form
For example
, the videos on Tikok or Instagram are truly engaging with millions of options to see. In that way, by
watching Change preposition
apply
to
it repeatedly every day can badly influence Change preposition
apply
childrens’
attention as they are more indulged Change noun form
children’s
to
seeing short-term information which Change preposition
in
as a result
make
them find it hard to read longer Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
especially
without any interesting graphic decorations.
Add the comma(s)
, especially
Secondly
, the bad impact from
overusing Change preposition
of
smartphones
can also
be seen physically. Every digital devices
, including Change to a singular noun
device
smartphones
, contains high exposure of
radiation rays which can seriously affect our eyes to suffer from near-sigthtnessed. Change preposition
to
Although
it is a common disease to everyone, but
Remove the conjunction
apply
by
allowing Change preposition
apply
children
to get much exposure from
radiation will higher the chance Change preposition
to
to rely
on optical Change preposition
of relying
eye-glasses
Correct your spelling
eyeglasses
in
an early age.
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at
To conclude
, I strongly believe that these reasons outweigh the advantages of the
Correct article usage
apply
smartphones
usage to Change the noun form
smartphone
children
. Not only that smartphones
hinder the crucial part during
cognitive Change preposition
of
development
by reducing the attention span, yet
Correct word choice
but
children
’s eyesight will definitely be affected by radiation rays. To tackle this
, the role of parents as the closest family members is somewhat crucial in setting boundaries regarding daily digital usage to
their Change preposition
for
children
.Submitted by pink panther on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Your introduction sets the stage well, but the concluding paragraph could be enhanced by summarizing the main points more effectively and restating the thesis.
coherence cohesion
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