IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for companies and organization.

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In recent decades, the majority of people prefer to run their own businesses, not work for companies.
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons for
this
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 trend
as well as
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 the drawbacks of being self-employed. On the one hand, being reluctant to work for others has some rational reasons.
To begin
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 with,
for example
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, despite the fact that office jobs offer a fixed monthly salary and some perks, they do not have flexible hours and employees cannot have
work-life
Add an article
a work-life
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 balance as they are trapped in a strict timetable.
Moreover
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, there might not be quick promotion prospects and workers might circle around themselves, and do some monotonous responsibilities.
Thus
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, some of them believe that it is not worth wasting a lot of precious time even if the job provides them with reasonable job security.
On the other hand
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, regardless of several advantages of self-employment, it might have a few detrimental implications. One of the main drawbacks is that running a business has a risk of failure and bankruptcy. By way of example, one of my friends went bankrupt and lost a great deal of money when he could not pay the debts of a number of big companies.
Consequently
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, he ended up with depression and a nervous breakdown. Sometimes failures might be the result of the lack of appropriate planning
such
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 as finding a target market, trying to explore some methods in order to attract customers and increase the rate of their satisfaction, and finding a way to set your business apart from other competitors. Another downside of being your own boss is that you might have to bear a heavy workload and be occupied.
Therefore
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, you might not be able to allocate enough time for your family and friends. In conclusion, both being employed by an organization or a company and being self-employed have some adverse influences. It depends on individuals' preferences and interests to choose which kinds of occupations.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your thesis statement in the introduction so that the examiner understands your stance from the beginning. It should guide the rest of the essay and provide a clear line of argument.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to demonstrate better cohesion and to ensure that your essay flows naturally from one point to the next.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to back up your points. These examples help to illustrate your points more clearly and make them more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
While your main ideas are generally well-supported, adding more depth and detail to your arguments can enhance the quality of your essay. Consider exploring the rationale behind individuals' preferences in more depth.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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