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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think the main benefit of international cooperation is the protection of the environment, while others think that the main benefits are in the world business.

#people #benefit #cooperation #protection #environment #world #business
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It certainly can not be denied that International cooperation takes many steps to protect their environment, and they are obvious, as life has become easier and more convenient.
However
, some people feel that the main benefits are in the world business. It surely is debatable and both views seem to hold water. But before coming to a reasonable conclusion, let us discuss both views. On the one hand, there could be a myriad of reasons why some people say that foreign aid works with the help of other countries to save the things that are very important to survive.
Moreover
, A good example to explain
this
 is our Prime Minister invited thirty-four countries heads to the G20 program in New Delhi
last
 year, to discuss the many important documentaries.
According to
 an article published in The Tribune, a leading national newspaper in India, studies have shown that every foreign was very excited and wanted to see all unity to work for the environment.
On the other hand
, some people might feel that these types of meetings are only for business benefits. It is probably believed so because the department works very slowly and it takes too much time to implement.
As well as
 the population can not believe in fake commitments. In conclusion, since both viewpoints hold water, it is difficult to favour one argument. But I do feel that every government makes the best decision to protect the public from environmental situations, and that should be very important to do.
Submitted by vmretail14 on

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Introduction
Your introduction provides a good starting point for discussing the topic, but it needs a clearer thesis statement that outlines your main points.
Focus on Prompt
The essay needs to maintain a more consistent focus on the question. Ensure that each paragraph directly addresses the prompt and contributes to your overall argument.
Topic Sentences & Development
Your body paragraphs should have clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea of the paragraph, and you should develop these ideas with specific examples and explanations.
Conclusion
In the conclusion, rather than stating the difficulty in choosing sides, provide a balanced summary of the key points you have made in your essay and try to give a final reasoned viewpoint.
Sentence Structure & Linking Words
It would benefit from more varied sentence structures and linking words to improve the overall flow and demonstrate a higher level of English language proficiency.
Real-life Examples
Add real-life examples or data to support your points, which will make your argument more persuasive and grounded. If specific examples or studies aren't known, creating hypothetical but realistic examples is acceptable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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