In many countries, there are a lot of students who commit suicide each year. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions?

In recent years, many
students
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around the world have committed
suicide
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each year, and the numbers are rising tragically. There are many reasons for
this
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happening across different regions, cultures, and ages. A lot of news has begun to expose
this
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heartbreaking issue, especially on social media. It is worth considering the main causes. In many countries in East Asia, it has been reported that there is a high level of bullying and harassment in schools, where
students
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feel guilty or ashamed of themselves.
For example
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, some girls have faced serious
problems
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due to
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the misuse of their images using AI, where they are placed in inappropriate pictures.
This
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makes them feel ashamed when other
students
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spread these images among themselves.
In addition
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, some
students
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treat these actions as jokes, but they are serious mistakes that can lead others to think about
suicide
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. Schools must organise workshops to educate
students
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about bullying and harassment from an early age. Some
people
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also
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believe that parents should be closer to their children and try to understand what is happening in their lives.
For instance
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, if parents feel that their children are hiding something, they should try gently to understand what kind of
problems
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they are facing. I believe that the government should support society by organising events to raise awareness about these issues and by creating campaigns to help
people
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deal with
such
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problems
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.
Also
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, the news plays an important role in informing
people
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about
suicide
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cases happening in
thier
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their
countries. Through
this
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type of awareness,
people
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can better understand how serious
this
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problem is. When
people
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are more educated and supported, these
problems
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are less likely to happen.
To conclude
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, there are many serious reasons why
students
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commit
suicide
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.
Students
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need support and help from schools and the government to address
this
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issue. By increasing awareness through events and providing support, the number of cases can be reduced.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain reasons quite well, but the solutions part is shorter and needs more clear action.
task response
Make each main point bigger. Some ideas are good, but they need more detail about how and why they help.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph so the reader can follow your plan more easily.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Some sentences jump a little, so use simple links like 'also', 'because', 'as a result', and 'for this reason'.
coherence cohesion
Put similar ideas together. For example, school action, parent support, and government help could each have their own clear paragraph.
task response
You answer the question and talk about both reasons and solutions.
task response
You give a real and modern example about AI image misuse, which makes your essay feel relevant.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear beginning and ending.
coherence cohesion
Most ideas are easy to follow, and the order is generally logical.
Your opinion

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