IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

These days the fashions in clothing are constantly changing. Is this affecting individuals and the environment in a positive or a negative way? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge and experience.

#fashions #individuals #environment
In recent times, the popularity of fast
fashion
 has increased rapidly. Constantly changing clothing trends have become the norm. I believe that
this
 is negatively affecting our society, and in
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will discuss the reasons for my opinion.
To begin
 with, I would like to point out that in today's world, clothes are quite expensive.
For instance
, a pair of jeans by the Spanish giant, Zara costs an average of 30 pounds. Now given that there are about seven different styles of jeans and the popularity of each keeps fluctuating, to be fashionable, one would have to spend over 210 pounds on jeans alone.
Therefore
 in
this
 era of rising rents and slowing economies, the habit of being fashionable can be a significant financial burden. Another dark side of fast
fashion
 lies in its connection to child labour. To reduce costs, most garments are mass-produced by factories set up in third-world countries like Bangladesh and Vietnam. In order to maximise profits, many factories employ children and make them work long hours with no breaks. With rapidly changing trends the demand for new clothes keeps growing and to keep up more and more minors are employed. Recent reports by WHO have affirmed that fast
fashion
 is one of the main causes for a tenfold rise in children dropping out of schools in Bangladesh, as parents prefer to have an additional income rather than send their young for education. In conclusion, I would like to say the growing demand for fast
fashion
 is hurting today's world, as it encourages unnecessary spending and promotes the exploitation of children.
Submitted by surabhichattree on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Strengthen your essay by linking ideas and paragraphs more explicitly. Use transitional words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Broaden your argument by addressing not only the negative but also any potential positive aspects. This will provide a more balanced view of the topic.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, ensure that your main points are directly related to the question asked. Reiterate how each point connects back to the impact on individuals and the environment.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: