IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The best way for a country to prepare for the future is to invest more resources in its young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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It’s an undeniable fact that today’s youth is the future of the nation.
However
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, I agree to a large extent with
this
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 opinion that for
growth
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 and development, it is important to invest more resources in its youth is the best way for a country to prepare for the future.
This
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 piece of writing will explore various dimensions and elucidate distinctive assumptions regarding the statement in the looming paragraphs. First and foremost, investing in the education of young
people
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 should be the primary focus. Educated
people
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 will be an asset for economic
growth
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.
Secondly
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, schools should focus on educating children making them career-driven and preparing them to learn financial management.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 will foster innovation, responsibilities and creativity which is quintessential for the country's
growth
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.
Additionally
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, not only education,
health
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 and well-being should
also
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 be the primary focus area.
Health
Use synonyms
 individuals will be more productive and contribute more to the economy
According to
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 a report by the World
Health
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 Organization, good
health
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 can boost economic
growth
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 by up to 4% a year. Despite
the
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 fact, focusing solely on young
people
Use synonyms
 may not be enough.
For instance
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, investments in infrastructure can facilitate trade and improve access to services, boosting economic
growth
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.
Moreover
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, investments in technology can increase productivity and create new industries.
Lastly
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, investments in healthcare for all age groups
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 essential for a healthy and productive population.
To conclude
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, different
people
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 have different notions regarding the statement, but I have a plethora of reasons to advocate that
although
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 investing in the younger generation has huge benefits
however
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, investing in other resources should not be overlooked.

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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure the introduction clearly introduces the topic and outlines your stance without being overly wordy. Be sure to have a concise thesis statement.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices effectively to improve the flow of the essay. This can include linking words, referencing words, etc.
Supported Main Points
Develop each supporting paragraph with a clear main idea, and support these ideas with relevant, detailed examples. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence.
Complete Response
Address the task's prompt comprehensively by covering all aspects of the question. Ensure that your position is clear throughout the essay, and avoid contradictory statements.
Logical Structure
Organize ideas logically and ensure that paragraphs flow smoothly from one to the next. Clear introductions and conclusions for each paragraph can help with this.
Relevant Specific Examples
Use specific examples to illustrate your points. These examples should be relevant to the topic and help to clearly demonstrate your arguments.
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