The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017

Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make 

comparisons where relevant.
The graph illustrates the
number
of
people
been
Correct pronoun usage
who been
show examples
to an
island
in
Caribbean
Correct article usage
the Caribbean
show examples
and had their
accommodation
Fix the agreement mistake
accommodations
show examples
on
cruise
ships or
island
Fix the agreement mistake
islands
show examples
in the
years
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2010 to 2017
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. Units are measured by
millions
.
Overall
, the total
number
of visitors has
showed
Change the verb form
shown
show examples
a dramatic increase in the given period. There are more
people
prefer
Correct pronoun usage
who prefer
show examples
to stay on the
island
compared to
cruise
ship
Fix the agreement mistake
ships
show examples
in the first
year
.
However
, it has changed for the
last
year
in the given period, which there are more tourists
prefer
Correct pronoun usage
who prefer
show examples
to stay on
cruise
ship
Fix the agreement mistake
ships
show examples
.
In contrast
, the
number
of visitors who prefer to stay on
cruise
ship
Fix the agreement mistake
ships
show examples
had a slight increase in 2011 to 0.5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
, but
then
it dropped to nearly half in the
year
of 2012.
Change preposition
On
show examples
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
the one hand, the
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
who prefer to stay on
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
island
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
has
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
unchanged from the
year
of 2010 to 2011, at 0.75
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
the other hand, the
number
of visitors who prefer to stay on
cruise
ships
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased from the
years
of 2012 to 2017, and it
hits
Wrong verb form
hit
show examples
2
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
people
in the
last
year
which was almost double compared to the first
year
.
However
, the
number
of
people
who prefer to stay on
island
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
has not much changes after it
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
showed a slight increase in the
years
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2011 to 2012. The
number
of tourists
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
unchanged for
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
years
and it had a slight dropped and went up
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
1.5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
in the
last
year
.
Submitted by chewweyyan on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, last".
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, people, island, cruise, years, millions, year with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 6 times.
Vocabulary: The word "unchanged" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Tourists
  • Caribbean
  • Visit
  • Graph
  • Summarize
  • Trend
  • Fluctuate
  • Peak season
  • Anomalies
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Comparisons
  • Sector
  • Significant
  • Patterns
  • Overview
  • Analyze
  • Data
  • Year-on-year
  • Percentage
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