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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
been
Correct pronoun usage
who been
show examples
 to an
island
Use synonyms
 in
Caribbean
Correct article usage
the Caribbean
show examples
 and had their
accommodation
Fix the agreement mistake
accommodations
show examples
 on
cruise
Use synonyms
 ships or
Use synonyms
island
Fix the agreement mistake
islands
show examples
 in the
years
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2010 to 2017
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. Units are measured by
millions
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total
number
Use synonyms
 of visitors has
showed
Change the verb form
shown
show examples
 a dramatic increase in the given period. There are more
people
Use synonyms
prefer
Correct pronoun usage
who prefer
show examples
 to stay on the
island
Use synonyms
 compared to
cruise
Use synonyms
ship
Fix the agreement mistake
ships
show examples
 in the first
year
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it has changed for the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 in the given period, which there are more tourists
prefer
Correct pronoun usage
who prefer
show examples
 to stay on
cruise
Use synonyms
ship
Fix the agreement mistake
ships
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of visitors who prefer to stay on
cruise
Use synonyms
ship
Fix the agreement mistake
ships
show examples
 had a slight increase in 2011 to 0.5
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
, but
then
Linking Words
 it dropped to nearly half in the
year
Use synonyms
 of 2012.
Change preposition
On
show examples
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the one hand, the
Use synonyms
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
 who prefer to stay on
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
island
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
 has
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 unchanged from the
year
Use synonyms
 of 2010 to 2011, at 0.75
Use synonyms
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, the
number
Use synonyms
 of visitors who prefer to stay on
cruise
Use synonyms
 ships
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased from the
years
Use synonyms
 of 2012 to 2017, and it
hits
Wrong verb form
hit
show examples
 2
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 which was almost double compared to the first
year
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who prefer to stay on
Use synonyms
island
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
 has not much changes after it
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
showed a slight increase in the
years
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2011 to 2012. The
number
Use synonyms
 of tourists
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 unchanged for
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
years
Use synonyms
 and it had a slight dropped and went up
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 1.5
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, people, island, cruise, years, millions, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "unchanged" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Tourists
  • Caribbean
  • Visit
  • Graph
  • Summarize
  • Trend
  • Fluctuate
  • Peak season
  • Anomalies
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Comparisons
  • Sector
  • Significant
  • Patterns
  • Overview
  • Analyze
  • Data
  • Year-on-year
  • Percentage
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