IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think if students are afraid of the teacher it is better. Others see that having a friendly relations is better. what do you think? Discus both points and give us opinion.

#people #students #teacher #relations #discus #points
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It is sometimes said that
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 need to scare students to create a better relationship.
While
Linking Words
 the alternative view is that a close and friend-like interplay between pupils and
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 is better. Personally, I agree with the latter viewpoint since a warm and kind situation will very likely boost individuals' confidence
as well as
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 their ability to absorb new information.
This
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 essay will shed some light on
this
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 issue and explain the writer's point of view.
To begin
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 with, being hard
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 students will
results
Change the verb form
result
show examples
 in creating a barrier between the learner and the educator.
Furthermore
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, frightening
vibe
Fix the agreement mistake
vibes
show examples
 foster pressure
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 children, and,
as a consequence
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 of
this
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, they can lose their confidence and courage to ask something to their professor. It is slowly killing their
curiousity
Correct your spelling
curiosity
.
For example
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, the old generation used to be beaten up with a
long-wood-stick
Correct your spelling
long-wood stick
show examples
 if they
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 not answer certain problems their teacher gave.
Thus
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,
boomer
Correct article usage
a boomer
show examples
 is usually stereotyped as a
yes man
Add a hyphen
yes-man
show examples
. Meanwhile, if the connection between teachers and their students is made from love, the younger generation will have the feeling of
comfortness
Correct your spelling
comfort
 and safety in school. They will not be afraid to make mistakes since no one is going to judge him, and, far more, punish him. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, there is a trend that has been growing nowadays about
prohibitting
Correct your spelling
prohibiting
 parents yell at their offspring.
Such
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habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
 successfully push kids' curiosity and create a more brave people. In conclusion, the school must make
campuss
Correct your spelling
campus
campuses
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
most cozy
Change the adjective
coziest
show examples
 place to learn by creating a trust-love-based interplay between the teachers and the pupils.
Submitted by munthulbawuk on

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Task Achievement
In terms of task response, your essay addresses the question and provides your opinion. However, to improve, ensure that you extend and support your main ideas with more specific details and examples that are fully relevant to the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, working on the logical flow and clarity of ideas is crucial. Organize your ideas more logically, use a range of cohesive devices effectively, and ensure that paragraphs transition smoothly from one to the next for a clearer structural flow.
Introduction/Conclusion Development
For introduction and conclusion, make sure that they clearly state the topic and your opinion, and summarise the main points of your argument respectively. Each should be distinct and well-developed to frame your essay effectively.
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