IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Other believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way

#people #media #sites #facebook #twitter #impact #ability #form #relationships
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Social
media
Use synonyms
 is a controversial topic worldwide.
This
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 author opines that social networks like Facebook or Twitter affect significantly to a negative side on young individuals and their possibility to create personal relationships
due to
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people
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 always depending on
media
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 and are likely to upload some posts about negative things to get viewed more.
However
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, some
people
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 think that
media
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 can help
people
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 get closer in a positive way. It must be recognized that
people
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 take social
media
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 for granted. The reason is the development of society so everyone has a smartphone to relax and upload events that are happening in the world.
Moreover
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, more and more
people
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 using the internet so some bad intended
people
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 abuse it to rob money or leak their personal information. For that reason, social
media
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 will be a good tool for bad
people
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 who have bad ideas.
Then
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, social networks become more and more toxic.
Nevertheless
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, others believe that social
media
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 can help
people
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 get closer in a good way. The belief is based on social
media
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 as a tool to help youths who live far away from home connect with family and friends through the
media
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 by calling or chatting online.
This
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 point may be true, but they just did it for a few days
then
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 they felt bored with calling home because they are addicted to entertainment on social
media
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. From that, the relationships had a big distance from them to relative
people
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. The writer believes that if
people
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 used online platforms a lot, they would be addicted.
Then
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, they lead to the lack of authentic interaction among beings.
For example
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, if there were an accident on the road or someone met a problem,
people
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 who are addicted to the online website and want to gain more views to be popular
instead
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 of helping them would take pictures or record videos and upload them on the social sites.
That is
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 a negative face of society and creates a distance between
people
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 and
people
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. In conclusion, social news has both advantages and disadvantages but in modern society, young
people
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 have a lot of pressure so they always use phones as a trend. For that, it may create a negative side and cannot form good relationships or behaviours.
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structure
Try to plan your essay with a clear introduction that outlines your viewpoint, followed by body paragraphs that present arguments and examples, and conclude with a summary of your views, reinforcing your stance.
detail
Expand on your ideas with specific, relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. This approach will provide clarity and support to your points, making them more persuasive.
cohesion
Work on paragraphing and the use of linking words to improve the flow of your essay. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea, with cohesive devices linking ideas within and across paragraphs.
conclusion
Make your conclusion more comprehensive by not only summarizing your points but also by restating your opinion in a clear, persuasive manner.
argument
You adequately address both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the task.
stance
You have provided a clear stance on the issue, which is necessary for the task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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