IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

You and your friend have booked tickets to go to the theatre. You are now unable to go but have found another friend to accompany him/her instead. Write a letter to your friend. In the letter: • explain why you can no longer go to the theatre with your friend • say who is able to go instead of you • tell them why you think this person would be good to go with.

#friend #tickets #theatre #person
Dear Rahul, Hi, Hope you are well. I was really excited to go for the new Marvel movie. Unfortunately,
due to
 some job-related work, I'll not be able to join you for the pre-planned picture
this
 weekend. My manager has given me an opportunity to work overtime
this
 weekend
due to
 the year-end deadline of a project. I consider
this
 as a chance to show my willingness for the company as it might help me for my fiscal year performance review. I will not be able to join on that day as work will keep me tied up all day. Don't you worry about me not coming, ok? I've got you some people to accompany. My wife is really excited about the movie and so is my child. She'll come with my ticket and has booked a ticket for our son already. I surely know that you won't have any obligation about them coming with you. As you already know, my family is a huge Marvel fan. You'll not regret it for a single moment after the movie ends. You guys will have a lot to chat about after the show. Thanks for understanding, and let's meet sometime soon. Take care, Jalpa
Submitted by Vyom Trivedi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider more varied and sophisticated connectives for smoother transitions between ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider range of sentence structures to ensure better flow of information.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is well-developed by giving sufficient detail to each point.
Task Achievement
To improve the complete response criterion, ensure that each point mentioned in the prompt is fully explained and fleshed out.
Task Achievement
You might consider a more formal or neutral sign-off that corresponds with the semi-formal tone of the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: