Topic: Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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There are multiple different
society
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societies
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in terms of
age
and kind of place to stay. An increasing number of
youngster
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a youngster
the youngster
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who wants to prolong their career
to
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in
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their urban
centers
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centres
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and decide to stay for
Correct article usage
the long-term
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long-term
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long term
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,
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apply
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can be a hard problem to face. In my opinion,
this
is a negative development which can lead to the inequitable development of society. The
unbalance
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unbalanced
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side of
population
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the population
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will potentially
give
Verb problem
cause
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a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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harmful situations and
also
problems later on in life. One solid reason that can
arise
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raise
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the
youth
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youth's
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motivation to move to urban
centers
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centres
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is
for
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apply
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the good life quality. Technology has been continuously growing up to attract the
youth
about
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to
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great
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the great
a great
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possible
opportunity
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opportunities
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in the city, compared to the side. The
youth
thought
on
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apply
show examples
the stuck improvement from rural areas
is
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was
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no longer promising
them
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to them
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. As
result
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a result
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, the majority choose to upgrade for
greatest
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the greatest
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sustainability without
anticipate
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anticipating
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any impact
to
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on
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left populations. Another issue will happen after their migration, neglecting rural areas will have a decrease
value
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in value
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in cultural transmission due
the
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to the
show examples
departure of the younger. The increase of
aging
Correct article usage
the aging
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population
will
feel
Verb problem
be
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such
a burden
to bound
Verb problem
apply
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for the growth of
population
Correct article usage
the population
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.
Therefore
, the huge loss to the number of productivity
age
will cause a deterioration case. The widening gap in technological advancement, decline of local agriculture, accessibility to implement recent skills, and potential to leave behind. Role of the
youth
in
development
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the development
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of the rural areas to ameliorate the infrastructure and keep
disseminate
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disseminating
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positive trends among the
elder
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elderly
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.
Situation
Correct determiner usage
This situation
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where
Add a missing verb
is where
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the younger people can help to enlighten about nowadays technology.
Therefore
, the substantiate for great society will serve so many great
impact
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impacts
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such
as
possibility
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the possibility
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to increase the number of productivity,
wide
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a wide
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opportunity to
creat
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create
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a working fields
Correct the article-noun agreement
working fields
a working field
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, controlling one-side
age
population
and procrastinate the delays if only older people stay.  In
conclusions
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conclusion
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,
although
it has become a choice for
young
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a young
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age
to move
on
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to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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crowded city for good, their presence still
hold
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holds
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important room for greater opportunities for the revitalization of the countryside through the new policies and incentives.
Submitted by sofinnovita on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that there is a clear introduction that presents the topic and your overall opinion on the development.
logical structure
Work on creating more cohesive paragraphs with clear topic sentences that guide the reader through your arguments.
logical structure
Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across sentences and paragraphs more effectively.
supported main points
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea or argument, providing well-supported explanations and examples.
complete response
Ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task, including explaining why you believe the development is positive or negative.
clear comprehensive ideas
Develop your ideas more thoroughly, giving clear, comprehensive explanations and relevant examples to support your opinion.
relevant specific examples
Use specific, detailed examples to support your points and to clearly illustrate your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • demographic shift
  • sustainability
  • cultural heritage
  • infrastructural development
  • agricultural decline
  • technological divide
  • rural depopulation
  • economic disparity
  • revitalization efforts
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