It is common nowadays for each member of family to have their own peace of modern technology . Some people think that this will lead to a break down in the family realationships and communication to what extend do you agree or disagree.

#member #peace #technology #people #break #realationships #communication

In our new modern world, each person who is related to a family has a particular personal technological device ;

however

, a substantial number of individuals guess that

this

will destroy family ties. Though

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

I agree with

this

idea , I will explain some views in

this

essay to make it clear.

Firstly

, needless to say,

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

new technology impacts our lifestyle dramatically in lots of conditions ; in fact , we can not escape from the consequences of what

this

breakthrough brings to us ; to illustrate , consider each member of a family without their phones, it is out of mind in my imagination;

therefore

this

habitat which is a new phenomenon causes some problems

such

as getting used to loneliness ;

hence

, everyone pass his

time

with some new gadgets which have been replaced

instead

of his family.

On the other hand

, it is crystal clear that there are many attractive applications and websites which can fill our free

time

; indeed, by exploring in virtual world we spend our leisure

time

alone in order to have fun with our parents and siblings;

therefore

, our communication would become weak and poor in

time

. In conclusion, to

recaptulate

Correct your spelling

recapitulate

above mentioned ideas I once again reaffirm that I agree with

this

breakdown which happens because of the technology owned.

Submitted by sajad.bazdar.2012 on Fri Jan 19 2024

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coherence cohesion

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A more varied range of sentence structures and vocabulary can help in expressing clear comprehensive ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

225 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is common nowadays for each member of family to have their own peace of modern technology . Some people think that this will lead to a break down in the family realationships and communication to what extend do you agree or disagree.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think the government should not spend on international aid because there are disadvantaged people in their own countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people enjoy working alone. Others would rather work in a group. What is your preference? Explain why.

Some children spend hours every day on the smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that it is better to live in a city than in a rural area. Others argue that life in the countryside is preferable. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.