IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Life was better when technology was simpler. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#life #technology
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Advanced
technology
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 has taken over
people
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's
lives
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 in recent times. It is argued that life was less complex in the past when there was no
technology
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. I completely disagree with
this
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 statement and believe that sophisticated
technology
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 has made our
lives
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 more convenient and less laborious and improved the
education
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 system. To commence with,
technology
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 has dragged several benefits into
people
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's
lives
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. Because of advancement, numerous are able to communicate with their families, associates and loved ones by only pressing
one touch
Add a hyphen
one-touch
show examples
 button on their smartphones. It not only saves their time and effort but
also
Linking Words
 helps individuals to get their job done as quickly as possible. It must be valued more as it brings
people
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 together even if they are distant.
For instance
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,
technology
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 introduced a mobile banking app which allows us to send and receive money easily just by touching the icon button on our phone screen.
Thus
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, These labour-saving devices have made our
living
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lives
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easier.
Moreover
Linking Words
, interweb has improved the
education
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 system in most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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countries. It has given students, teachers, readers, researchers and workers sufficient information related to their agenda. In the old times, students had to rely on books, teachers, schools and instructors but at present, learners tend to learn on their own with the help of wise internet which even
made
Wrong verb form
makes
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 their learning effective and efficient. In fact, it has enriched
education
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 by providing an enormous amount of knowledge, skills and competence online, and
therefore
Linking Words
, learners can accomplish anything they set their mind to.
For example
Linking Words
, YouTube provides free materials and courses online which truly assist learners to upgrade their level.
To conclude
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,
technology
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 plays a vital role in
people
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's
lives
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 and I firmly agree that it has made our
lives
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more
Change the word
apply
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easier by saving time and effort and
enriched
Wrong verb form
enriching
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Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
the education
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 system to a greater extent.
Submitted by asmitakhatri490 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea or topic sentence that relates back to the essay prompt.
task achievement
Develop your arguments with more detailed examples to support your points, ensuring these examples are directly relevant to the question.
language
Be consistent with verb tenses throughout the essay and ensure correct subject-verb agreement.
language
Check for minor spelling and grammatical errors to enhance the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing.
coherence cohesion
Improve cohesion by using a wider range of linking devices to connect ideas more seamlessly.
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