IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Life was better when technology was simpler. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#life #technology
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Advanced
technology
 has taken over
people
's
lives
 in recent times. It is argued that life was less complex in the past when there was no
technology
. I completely disagree with
this
 statement and believe that sophisticated
technology
 has made our
lives
 more convenient and less laborious and improved the
education
 system. To commence with,
technology
 has dragged several benefits into
people
's
lives
. Because of advancement, numerous are able to communicate with their families, associates and loved ones by only pressing
one touch
Add a hyphen
one-touch
show examples
 button on their smartphones. It not only saves their time and effort but
also
 helps individuals to get their job done as quickly as possible. It must be valued more as it brings
people
 together even if they are distant.
For instance
,
technology
 introduced a mobile banking app which allows us to send and receive money easily just by touching the icon button on our phone screen.
Thus
, These labour-saving devices have made our
living
Replace the word
lives
show examples
easier.
Moreover
, interweb has improved the
education
 system in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries. It has given students, teachers, readers, researchers and workers sufficient information related to their agenda. In the old times, students had to rely on books, teachers, schools and instructors but at present, learners tend to learn on their own with the help of wise internet which even
made
Wrong verb form
makes
show examples
 their learning effective and efficient. In fact, it has enriched
education
 by providing an enormous amount of knowledge, skills and competence online, and
therefore
, learners can accomplish anything they set their mind to.
For example
, YouTube provides free materials and courses online which truly assist learners to upgrade their level.
To conclude
,
technology
 plays a vital role in
people
's
lives
 and I firmly agree that it has made our
lives
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier by saving time and effort and
enriched
Wrong verb form
enriching
show examples
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 system to a greater extent.
Submitted by asmitakhatri490 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea or topic sentence that relates back to the essay prompt.
task achievement
Develop your arguments with more detailed examples to support your points, ensuring these examples are directly relevant to the question.
language
Be consistent with verb tenses throughout the essay and ensure correct subject-verb agreement.
language
Check for minor spelling and grammatical errors to enhance the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing.
coherence cohesion
Improve cohesion by using a wider range of linking devices to connect ideas more seamlessly.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: