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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that schools should select students according to their academic abilities, while others believe it is better to have students with different abilities studying together. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

#people #schools #students #abilities
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Since a couple of years ago, many debates around categorizing
students
 based on their academic abilities have been sparked. Some argue smart
students
 and those who have great marks must not
educate
Wrong verb form
be educated
show examples
 with
others
 including ordinary ones.
However
,
others
 including me concur that putting
students
 with different abilities could have numerous benefits. As for its downsides, it is regarded that studying with less smart
students
 can impact the function of those who have razor-sharp minds negatively. In more detail, youngsters spend most of their time at school and with their friends; so they may be encouraged to act as their friends.
For example
,
students
 may prefer to play online games as their friends who do not study at all, resulting in lower marks after a
while
.
Also
, studying with smart
students
 may put
others
 under pressure;
that is
 because teachers mostly pay attention to great
students
 and compare
others
 with them, influencing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others
’
mood
Fix the agreement mistake
moods
show examples
 and increasing their anxiety.
On the other hand
, creating good balance in schools can highly boost the
students
’ motivation.
Hence
,
students
 with lower performances decide on progressive individuals as their role models and they strive with the aim of gaining better marks than
others
.
For instance
, in some schools, teachers put
students
 with various levels of ability in a group to do
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
 with the aim of encouraging them to do their work share and learn from each other which is highly beneficial to learn better as children have
close
Add an article
a close
show examples
 connection together and try to be like them. In conclusion,
although
 putting all the
students
 in a school regardless of their academic skills poses some problems, I suppose its merits outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by n97.mortazian on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that both the introduction and the conclusion are fully developed and clearly present the main topic and your opinion respectively. The introduction should set the stage for the discussion, and the conclusion should effectively summarize the main points and restate your position.
logical structure
Aim for a more logically structured essay by adhering to a clear paragraph structure with topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph. Use connecting words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
complete response
Address all parts of the task by discussing both viewpoints thoroughly and providing a clear, well-supported personal opinion. Ensure each idea or example is directly related to answering the question posed.
clear comprehensive ideas
Present your ideas clearly with sufficient elaboration. Aim for comprehensive development of each point with explanatory detail and depth.
relevant specific examples
Use relevant and specific examples to support main points. Ensure that the examples clearly illustrate the idea being discussed and contribute to the overall argument of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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