Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree
Some
people
believe that one of the prominent benefit
of being affluent is that one can think of other Change to a plural noun
benefits
people
's well-being. I, personally agree with the said notion because of mainly two reasons; firstly
,they have the ability to perform various charitable works
. Secondly
, they can create job opportunities
To commence with, rich people
indeed have decent
amount of money. They are in Add an article
a decent
the
state Correct article usage
a
that
they are capable of working for the Correct word choice
where
benefits
of underprivileged Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
people
who are even deprived of basic needs such
as food, education, health facilities and shelter, with some portion of their money. Afterall
, there is the Correct your spelling
After all
hardworks
of so many Correct your spelling
hard work
people
behind their success. For example
, they have servants to do their household works
and employees for their business. Fix the agreement mistake
work
As a result
, they are livng
luxurious life. Correct your spelling
living
Therefore
, they also
have some responsibilities towards the people
of the society. They can help poor people
by doing some charity works
. They can donate to NGOs and orphanages, which help to make Fix the agreement mistake
work
difference
in their lives. They Correct article usage
a difference
aslo
can provide financial assistance directly to the needy one. Rich Correct your spelling
also
people
possess the power to change individual's
lives.
To exemplify, Ratan Tada, the director of Tada Group donates 99% of his total net income and Change noun form
individual
also
operates two NGOs for helping needy people
.
In addition
, individuals who are living with welfare, have the capability to run any kind of business. With the establishment company or even shopping mall
, they can help Fix the agreement mistake
malls
poor
Correct article usage
the poor
to
get Fix the infinitive
apply
a
Correct article usage
apply
job
. Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
Consequently
, it will help them to improve their overall
lifestyle. For instance
, it not only create
Change the verb form
creates
job
during Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
construction
period, but Add an article
the construction
aslo
after its completion.
Correct your spelling
also
To sum up
, having large
amount of capital can give Change the article
a large
individual
the confidence to work for others. By conducting charity Add an article
an individual
the individual
works
and generating employment, affluent class people
can spread positivity in individual's
Change noun form
individual
life
, society and nationFix the agreement mistake
lives
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the essay has a clear introductory paragraph that outlines the points to be discussed. A thesis statement could enhance clarity. In the conclusion, aim to summarise the main points more effectively and restate your opinion clearly.
supported main points
Develop your main points further with detailed explanations and more specific examples. It's not enough to just mention them; explain how and why these arguments support your thesis.
complete response
To improve task achievement, make sure that you address the prompt fully by providing a fully developed argument on both sides of the issue (agreeing or disagreeing), and include a personal stance.
logical structure
In terms of coherence and cohesion, make sure that your ideas flow logically from one paragraph to the next, and that each paragraph has a clear central idea. Use a variety of cohesive devices and transition words to link your ideas more naturally.
clear comprehensive ideas
Try to make your ideas more explicit and straightforward. While your points are relevant, they could be expressed more comprehensively to enhance understanding and impact. Include more elaborate explanations and reasoning to support the points made.
relevant specific examples
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example