Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some
people
believe that one of the prominent
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
of being affluent is that one can think of other
people
's well-being. I, personally agree with the said notion because of mainly two reasons;
firstly
,they have the ability to perform various charitable
works
.
Secondly
, they can create job opportunities To commence with, rich
people
indeed have
decent
Add an article
a decent
show examples
amount of money. They are in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
state
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
they are capable of working for the
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
of underprivileged
people
who are even deprived of basic needs
such
as food, education, health facilities and shelter, with some portion of their money.
Afterall
Correct your spelling
After all
show examples
, there is the
hardworks
Correct your spelling
hard work
of so many
people
behind their success.
For example
, they have servants to do their household
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
and employees for their business.
As a result
, they are
livng
Correct your spelling
living
luxurious life.
Therefore
, they
also
have some responsibilities towards the
people
of the society. They can help poor
people
by doing some charity
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. They can donate to NGOs and orphanages, which help to make
difference
Correct article usage
a difference
show examples
in their lives. They
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
can provide financial assistance directly to the needy one. Rich
people
possess the power to change
individual's
Change noun form
individual
show examples
lives. To exemplify, Ratan Tada, the director of Tada Group donates 99% of his total net income and
also
operates two NGOs for helping needy
people
.
In addition
, individuals who are living with welfare, have the capability to run any kind of business. With the establishment company or even shopping
mall
Fix the agreement mistake
malls
show examples
, they can help
poor
Correct article usage
the poor
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
Consequently
, it will help them to improve their
overall
lifestyle.
For instance
, it not only
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
during
construction
Add an article
the construction
show examples
period, but
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
after its completion.
To sum up
, having
large
Change the article
a large
show examples
amount of capital can give
individual
Add an article
an individual
the individual
show examples
the confidence to work for others. By conducting charity
works
and generating employment, affluent class
people
can spread positivity in
individual's
Change noun form
individual
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, society and nation
Submitted by promishtumrok654 on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the essay has a clear introductory paragraph that outlines the points to be discussed. A thesis statement could enhance clarity. In the conclusion, aim to summarise the main points more effectively and restate your opinion clearly.
supported main points
Develop your main points further with detailed explanations and more specific examples. It's not enough to just mention them; explain how and why these arguments support your thesis.
complete response
To improve task achievement, make sure that you address the prompt fully by providing a fully developed argument on both sides of the issue (agreeing or disagreeing), and include a personal stance.
logical structure
In terms of coherence and cohesion, make sure that your ideas flow logically from one paragraph to the next, and that each paragraph has a clear central idea. Use a variety of cohesive devices and transition words to link your ideas more naturally.
clear comprehensive ideas
Try to make your ideas more explicit and straightforward. While your points are relevant, they could be expressed more comprehensively to enhance understanding and impact. Include more elaborate explanations and reasoning to support the points made.
relevant specific examples

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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