Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are the solutions?
Age
differences have led to intergenerational competition in the past years when the elderly have to compete with young adults. However
, there are several problems
that occur because of this
phenomenon and some measures need to be taken.
To begin
with, this
age
conflict between older and younger people in the job
market causes some issues in society. Firstly
, in most cases, the aged group has a higher chance of losing vacancies since the newest generation is more beneficial for the company. Some employers see younger generations as cost-effective workers due to
their lower salary expectations. Hence
, companies can cut down on the expenditure. Another possible consequence is that such
competition leads to financial problems
for aged job
seekers since most of them usually have families to support. Even worse, this
issue is known as the vocal reason for most divorce cases.
In order to solve these shortcomings, some solutions need to be executed by the government and individuals. First of all, the government responded by providing workshops on the skill sets needed for the elderly. This
training will help them to improve their skill to be employed. Secondly
, the government can create a regulation for fair hiring practices to be implemented. This
is needed since currently some job
vacancies put a certain range of age
in their requirement. Without this
regulation, the aged job
seekers are disadvantaged in the employment process. Finally
, each individual should promote the value of a diverse workforce so that the experiences of the elderly and the knowledge of fresh graduates will strengthen them when they cooperate well.
In conclusion, the age
gap in the hiring process somehow leads to some problems
such
as the lower chance for the older to be accepted and causes financial problems
for their family. Thus
, governments and individuals should take some actions to tackle this
problem by implementing additional training, setting new hiring regulations, and campaigning for the value of a diverse workforce.Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs follow a clear and logical structure. Although the essay generally flows well, some connections between ideas could be enhanced by using more sophisticated linking words and clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present and well-crafted, the body paragraphs can be improved by ensuring a more balanced discussion of problems and solutions with equal development of each point.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with more detailed and relevant examples. While the issues and solutions are mentioned, providing more concrete examples would strengthen the essay. Consider including specific real-world instances or hypothetical scenarios to illustrate your points better.
task achievement
You have addressed the task and provided a clear response with comprehensive ideas and a fair degree of detail. However, to achieve a higher score, aim to fully develop each main point with further elaboration, specific examples, and a more thorough analysis of the implications and outcomes of the problems and solutions you describe.
task achievement
To improve clarity and ensure your ideas are easily followed, present them in a more systematic and detailed manner. This could include using a broader range of structures and vocabulary to convey your points with precision and sophistication.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments. Where possible, use data, research findings, or anecdotal evidence to make your points more convincing and impactful.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.