some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunitybto help others. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Some

people

Use synonyms

believe that one of the prominent benefits of being affluent is that they can think of others. I, personally agree with the said notion that rich

people

Use synonyms

can play a crucial role in uplifting the condition of poor

people

Use synonyms

because of mainly two reasons;

fristly

Correct your spelling

firstly

, they are capable of doing various charitable works.

Secondly

Linking Words

, they can create employment opportunities for

people

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. To commence with, Rich

people

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can help privileged

people

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by carrying out various charity works

such

Linking Words

as donating to NGOs and

oprhanages

Correct your spelling

orphanages

. They

also

Linking Words

can initiate the helping hands by providing

foods

Fix the agreement mistake

food

show examples

, medical assistance, education and shelter for those who are deprived of it. Since

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

rich

people

Use synonyms

have immense money, they can allocate

certain

Add an article

a certain

show examples

portion of their income

helping

Change the verb form

to help

show examples

people

Use synonyms

who are in need. There are so many wealthy

people

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in the world who are contributing to

enhance

Change the verb form

enhancing

show examples

the living standard of the

people

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For example

Linking Words

: Ratan Tada, the director of Tada Group donates 99% of his total revenue

for

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show examples

the well-being of deprived

people

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. He

aslo

Correct your spelling

also

operates two NGOs.

In addition

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who are living

with

Change preposition

show examples

welfare have the ability to run any kind of business.

Therefore

Linking Words

, by establishing

company

Add an article

a company

the company

show examples

,they can help

poor

Correct article usage

the poor

show examples

to get a job.

Consequently

Linking Words

, it will help them to improve their

overall

Linking Words

lifestyle.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they can share their experiences with the youngsters, which can motivate them to work harder and achieve

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

level

success

Change preposition

of success

show examples

To sum up

Linking Words

, having a sufficient amount of money can give

people

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the

confidient

Correct your spelling

confidence

confident

to work for others.

However

Linking Words

, I

dont

Correct your spelling

don't

think that it is necessary to have money

inorder

Correct your spelling

in order

show examples

to help

people

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. Anyone willing to help others can help irrespective of financial status.

promishtumrok654Fri Jan 19 2024

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Improvement Suggestions

Coherence and Cohesion

To improve the logical structure, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next with appropriate use of linking words. Transition smoothly between ideas and paragraphs to create a more cohesive argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

An effective introduction and conclusion are vital for a high-scoring essay. Make sure the introduction paraphrases the question and your conclusion summarizes your main points effectively. Avoid introducing new ideas in the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion

While supporting your main points, it's beneficial to add more specific examples and details. This not only strengthens your argument but makes your essay more engaging and believable.

Task Achievement

To achieve a complete response, ensure all parts of the prompt are thoroughly answered. Expand on your ideas to fully develop your argument, covering all aspects of the topic.

Task Achievement

Your ideas need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Work on your grammar and vocabulary to express complex ideas more effectively.

Task Achievement

Relevant examples are critical in supporting your viewpoint. To enhance your score, use specific and detailed examples that directly support your argument. General or unrelated examples can weaken your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunitybto help others. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Improvement Suggestions

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To whtat extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer.

Some people think online education is more effective than traditional education. Do you agree or disagree?"

In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the cause of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It’s not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. Do you agree or disagree?