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Band 4

Task 2 Some people think that governments should change the way individuals live, while others believe they should choose the way themselves. Discuss these both points of view and give your opinion?

#people #governments #change #individuals #points
Many
people
 suppose that their way of life should be controlled by the government, but others seem to want to be free in their way. From my perspective, the beneficial method is to mix both ideas. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both views to support my point. On the one hand, if the governments change too much in
people
's lives,
such
 as by setting unreasonable laws, that can lead to serious consequences like protests of residents.
However
, depending on the changes in the lifestyle of inhabitants,
people
 could avoid potential dangers, which might come to them.
For example
, banning the use of stimulates
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 could prevent our bodies from being affected by toxic drugs.
On the other hand
, A free lifestyle could give
people
 the opportunity to do whatever they want, which could be better for their mental health and they can freely think about a lot of new ideas to contribute to society.
In contrast
, ignoring the way
people
 live could cause an imbalance in society, because some
crimes
Replace the word
criminals
show examples
 would have a chance to have freedom, which could make
people
 feel unsafety when they go out. In conclusion,
while
 the changes by governments are true in some cases, others seem not to be effective.
Therefore
, I partially agree with
this
 assertion.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure there is a clear introduction and conclusion in the essay, stating your opinion and summarizing the main points.
Logical Structure
Organize your main points more effectively and ensure the essay flows logically from one point to the next.
Supporting Points
Develop each point with relevant examples and explanations to support your argument.
Task Response
Address the task by discussing both views entirely and provide a balanced comparison before giving your opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to improve the connections between ideas and paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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