IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart shows the amount of money which was invested by different museums in London.

The bar chart shows the amount of money which was invested by different museums in London.
#bar #amount #money #museums #london
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graph depicts the total investments by four museums in the city of London from June to October and it is measured in Pound sterling. The data reveals the
British
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
 put the most amount among others,
whereas
Linking Words
, the National
Museum
Use synonyms
 was the latest one.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, the
British
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
 chart fluctuated, starting in June with a little more than 400.000 invested and it remained stable until July. In August it reached its peak with more than 700.000 and made the
British
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
 the first
place
Use synonyms
 among other museums. After that, it decreased gradually until October,
however
Linking Words
, it is still in the top one
place
Use synonyms
. The next
place
Use synonyms
 was the History
Museum
Use synonyms
 which increased significantly since June and reached its highest in August with 600.000
then
Linking Words
 it declined moderately each year. The third
place
Use synonyms
 was the Science
Museum
Use synonyms
 which remained stable in July and August and
then
Linking Words
 reached its top in September with 500.000. The most noticeable proportion was the National
Museum
Use synonyms
 which became the lowest since the first.
Although
Linking Words
 it reached its supreme in August,
nevertheless
Linking Words
, still became the
last
Linking Words
 rank among others never going up more than 300.000. In conclusion, the
British
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
 was the top
museum
Use synonyms
 that contributed a lot of money to the investment, followed by the History
Museum
Use synonyms
 in the second
place
Use synonyms
 and the Science
Museum
Use synonyms
 in the next
place
Use synonyms
after
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
while
Linking Words
 the lowest rank can be clearly seen was the National
Museum
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by nurulfitriakamilah on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words british, museum, place with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: