Completing university is the best way to get a job. while others believe that experience and developing soft skills is more important. discuss both views and give your opinion
Railways
and roads
are crucial means of transportation for mankind. A majority of the population agrees with the stance that railways
need more attention than roads
while
the rest believe otherwise
. I think that governments should prioritise improvement
of both rail and Add an article
the improvement
road
systems by allocating money in equal proportions.
To begin
with, having a vast and deep network of railways
assists in effective transportation and national relationships. Trains offer faster travel options and lower ticket fares than buses. For instance
, travelling from one state to another in
a train or metro takes Change preposition
on
lesser
time than travelling on a Correct word choice
less
road
. Also
, railways
offer a safer way of transporting goods and the problem of traffic blockage is not seen in rail systems. In addition
, railway
plays a key role in generating revenue and Correct article usage
the railway
economy
of a country.
Correct article usage
the economy
On the other hand
, improving roads
has its own merits. With train tracks being fixed between two destinations and the stops not being flexible, people tend to opt for cars to have an
ease of travelling through any place in any route possible. Improving Correct article usage
apply
roads
would develop rural areas which makes it easier for people to commute to cities. Besides
, a large number of road
accidents can be prevented with better quality
Add a hyphen
better-quality
roads
. For example
, it is common to see parts of roads
being washed off during monsoon and this
can be avoided by using certified materials during road
construction.
To sum up
, having explored both arguments, I disagree with the statement that railways
should be given greater priority. It is most efficient to give an appropriate allowance to both systems and government officials should find a middle ground between them to make sure of a safer transportationSubmitted by mj on
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task achievement
Ensure your essay directly addresses the main topic and prompt given. The essay provided slightly diverges from the initial topic which focuses on completing university and job attainment versus soft skills and experience. Stick to the nuances of the question at hand, as this will improve the relevance of your response.
task achievement
Strengthen your main points with more specific examples. While the essay presents a balanced view, providing more tangible evidence, statistics, or real-world examples will make your arguments more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Work on a clear logical structure by presenting your ideas in a manner that naturally builds from one point to the next. While the essay has a decent structure, transitions could be smoother and sentences could be linked more effectively to contribute to the overall flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Be sure to have a concise introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your main viewpoints. While the essay has an introduction and conclusion, making them more concise and assertive will better set the stage and summarize your perspectives.