IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Completing university is the best way to get a job. while others believe that experience and developing soft skills is more important. discuss both views and give your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Railways
Use synonyms
 and
roads
Use synonyms
 are crucial means of transportation for mankind. A majority of the population agrees with the stance that
railways
Use synonyms
 need more attention than
roads
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 the rest believe
otherwise
Linking Words
. I think that governments should prioritise
improvement
Add an article
the improvement
show examples
 of both rail and
road
Use synonyms
 systems by allocating money in equal proportions.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, having a vast and deep network of
railways
Use synonyms
 assists in effective transportation and national relationships. Trains offer faster travel options and lower ticket fares than buses.
For instance
Linking Words
, travelling from one state to another
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a train or metro takes
lesser
Correct word choice
less
show examples
 time than travelling on a
road
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
,
railways
Use synonyms
 offer a safer way of transporting goods and the problem of traffic blockage is not seen in rail systems.
In addition
Linking Words
,
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
show examples
 plays a key role in generating revenue and
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 of a country.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, improving
roads
Use synonyms
 has its own merits. With train tracks being fixed between two destinations and the stops not being flexible, people tend to opt for cars to have
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ease of travelling through any place in any route possible. Improving
roads
Use synonyms
 would develop rural areas which makes it easier for people to commute to cities.
Besides
Linking Words
, a large number of
road
Use synonyms
 accidents can be prevented with
better quality
Add a hyphen
better-quality
show examples
roads
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, it is common to see parts of
roads
Use synonyms
 being washed off during monsoon and
this
Linking Words
 can be avoided by using certified materials during
road
Use synonyms
 construction.
To sum up
Linking Words
, having explored both arguments, I disagree with the statement that
railways
Use synonyms
 should be given greater priority. It is most efficient to give an appropriate allowance to both systems and government officials should find a middle ground between them to make sure of a safer transportation

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure your essay directly addresses the main topic and prompt given. The essay provided slightly diverges from the initial topic which focuses on completing university and job attainment versus soft skills and experience. Stick to the nuances of the question at hand, as this will improve the relevance of your response.
task achievement
Strengthen your main points with more specific examples. While the essay presents a balanced view, providing more tangible evidence, statistics, or real-world examples will make your arguments more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Work on a clear logical structure by presenting your ideas in a manner that naturally builds from one point to the next. While the essay has a decent structure, transitions could be smoother and sentences could be linked more effectively to contribute to the overall flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Be sure to have a concise introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your main viewpoints. While the essay has an introduction and conclusion, making them more concise and assertive will better set the stage and summarize your perspectives.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • industry-specific skills
  • career services
  • networking opportunities
  • intellectual capability
  • practical experience
  • real-world scenarios
  • soft skills
  • on-the-job experiences
  • portfolio
  • demonstrated skillset
  • formal education credentials
  • company culture
  • academia
What to do next:
Look at other essays: