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Band 5

Many people use distance-learning programs to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring benefits as much as attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #programs #study #home #college #university
Distance-learning
Correct your spelling
Distance learning
show examples
 programs
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 truly a breakthrough for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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academic life. Not having to be physically present
at
Change preposition
in
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 one place helps people from different places to learn together.
This
 makes it more accessible and affordable
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 some cases because there's no commuting or relocating involved. Not only that,
distance
 learning is
also
 flexible.
Students
 can learn at their own pace and schedule.
This
 is helpful because some
students
 progressed slower than the rest.
Lastly
,
students
 can learn some courses that may not be available in their area.
While
distance
 learning
have
Change the verb form
has
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their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 own advantages, it can not measure up to what college or
university
 can do for the
students
. Attending college or
university
 offers structured learning, both in the syllabus and the environment. Some
students
 with certain types of learning may find college or
university
 more beneficial, especially those with kinesthetic learning styles.
Other advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
Another advantage
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 that can't be found in
distance
 learning is
in-person
Correct article usage
the in-person
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university
 experience.
This
 includes networking opportunities and direct access to the faculty's physical resources
such
 as libraries and labs. Networking opportunities can enhance the student's social experience and interpersonal skills. Meanwhile,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
direct access to a lab could be useful for practical hands-on subjects. Technology may have bridged the gap between
distance
 learning and traditional programs but the effectiveness
on
Change preposition
of
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distance
 learning mostly
rely
Correct subject-verb agreement
relies
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 on the student's learning style and self-discipline.
This
 is why relying solely on
distance
 learning is not a wise decision. Making
distance
 learning
as
Change preposition
apply
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the main study program should only be allowed for those with certain life circumstances,
such
 as those with
disabilites
Correct your spelling
disabilities
 or those living in remote areas.
Submitted by samsnebula on

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task achievement
The essay presents a clear position throughout the response, but the argument can benefit from a more consistent and explicit statement of your extent of agreement or disagreement in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Overall, the logical sequencing of information is adequate, yet transitions can be improved. Use a broader range of cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively across the essay.
task achievement
To enhance task achievement, ensure you address all parts of the task more fully. Both sides of the argument were covered, but more specific examples and a detailed analysis would strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Include a wider variety of sentence structures to showcase linguistic range and enhance coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • flexibility
  • structured learning
  • specializations
  • networking opportunities
  • accessibility
  • affordability
  • interpersonal skills
  • technological advancements
  • self-discipline
  • remote areas
  • practical hands-on experience
  • virtual classrooms
  • asynchronous learning
  • synchronous learning
  • digital literacy
  • e-learning platforms
  • educational resources
  • academic performance
  • lifelong learning
  • course completion rates
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