IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Travelling abroad is regarded as a valuable and good activity for young people, but some think it takes too much time and money. Discuss both view and give opinion.

Travel to another
country
Use synonyms
 is a positive experience for developing personality, but it is debated that travelling spent a lot of money and time
instead
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 of giving some advantages for life.
This
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 essay will discuss
this
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 point of view and give an explanation of
this
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 topic. on the one hand, There are so many benefits for adolescents going abroad as a
traveler
Change the spelling
traveller
show examples
.
First,
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the teenagers could feel enjoyable and happiness for sightseeing the new city that never come to visit.
Then
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, youngsters can learn about the diversity of cultures and
ethnics
Replace the word
ethnicities
show examples
. Because understand about distinction is a positive way to foster young people's personalities.
Second,
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exploring attractive activities in the different countries
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such
Add a missing verb
is such
show examples
 a good idea.
For instance
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, Trying
snorkeling
Change the spelling
snorkelling
show examples
 at the sea, climbing a mountain or playing at Disney playground. All of
this
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 makes good memories for youngsters. and the other hand, go abroad to a different
country
Use synonyms
. obviously, takes much time and money.
moreover
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, we can do the same activities in our
country
Use synonyms
.
for example
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, enjoying the landscape of
beach
Correct article usage
the beach
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 or facing
a
Correct article usage
the
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 challenge of climbing
a local mountains
Correct the article-noun agreement
local mountains
a local mountain
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. We necessary to explore our
country
Use synonyms
's destination first before going abroad, and we
also
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 can learn about our historical value in our city
instead
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 of
travel
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 abroad. In conclusion, travel
abrod
Correct your spelling
abroad
 might be beneficial for
youngsters
Change noun form
youngsters'
youngster's
show examples
 memories and experience to learn about diversity and
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
ethnics
Replace the word
ethnicities
show examples
.
Furthermore
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, young people can get value after travelling around the world. I believe that
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 abroad is important for their lives and improve their spirit to
doing
Wrong verb form
do
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 their society.

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structure
Make sure your essay has a clear and logical structure. Organize your paragraphs with clear topic sentences. Ensure each paragraph has a central idea, with subsequent sentences developing this idea coherently.
introduction/conclusion
Include an introduction that clearly introduces the topic and your thesis statement. Summarize your key points and restate your opinion in the conclusion.
examples
Develop your main points with more specific and diverse examples. Providing concrete examples to support your arguments will greatly improve your essay.
ideas development
Aim to present your ideas more comprehensively by expanding on your thoughts and providing in-depth analysis rather than listing points.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • valuable experiences
  • broaden horizons
  • expose to different cultures
  • promote personal growth
  • independence
  • lifelong memories
  • friendships
  • time-consuming
  • costly
  • planning
  • preparation
  • research
  • transportation
  • accommodation
  • meals
  • learning opportunities
  • classroom setting
  • comfort zone
  • challenge
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