Some people think young people should follow the traditions of their society. Others think that they should be free to behave as individuals.

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It is true that youngsters’ behaviours are a topic of much debate.

While

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there might be some reasons to support the traditional attitudes, I am of the opinion that individuals’ characteristics enhance creativity, innovation and the society economy. On one hand, traditional education provides students with ethical and cultural laws.

This

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can be explained by the fact that youngsters in Vietnam have a connection with customs and bounds

while

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growing up.

For example

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, parental guidance for their offspring contains respect and admiration for older people, instilling in their perception to have the right attitudes toward others, and not to be an insolent juvenile.

As a result

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, later generations continue to reaffirm

this

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crucial character, an inherited norm.

On the other hand

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, I am of the opinion that freedom stimulating children to be themselves has a result in innovation.

This

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is because preadolescents can behave differently from each other, are not scared of being different, and define themselves clearly .

For instance

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, there are many parents who encourage their children to pursue their own careers without expecting them to be doctors or managers , disregarding other choices. Without imitating their ancestors, there would be a high range of job choices.

Consequently

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, countries are contained with different

colors

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colours

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, contributing to the economy, and advertising the regions with special and dissimilar features. In conclusion,

while

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there are many benefits regarding customary being critical and necessary, I still believe that it is more advantageous to individuals’ characteristics because of diverse attitudes and behaviours. It is advisable that each person can perform freely but in a moral way.

nguyetcat.daoMon Jan 29 2024

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coherence cohesion

It would be beneficial to provide more explicit topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to better introduce the main arguments. This guides the examiner through your line of reasoning.

task achievement

Elaborate on your examples to make them more specific and detailed. For instance, illustrate the positive outcomes of individualism in Vietnamese youth with real-life examples.

task achievement

Consider expanding on the counterargument to traditionalism and provide a balanced discussion before stating your opinion. This would show a full consideration of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Improve the range and complexity of sentence structures to showcase your grammatical range. Avoid repetitive patterns where possible.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the essay with suitable linking words and phrases to better connect ideas and paragraphs, ensuring smooth transitions for the reader.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural heritage
Sense of identity
Cultural background
Community unity
Formative years
Significant meanings
Passed down
Creativity and innovation
New ideas and perspectives
Societal progress
Personal growth
Self-discovery
Outdated or irrelevant
Adhering to traditions
Meaningful and relevant

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Some people think young people should follow the traditions of their society. Others think that they should be free to behave as individuals.

Your opinion

some people say that internet should be regulated. others are against any forms of internet censorship. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

You recently moved to a new neighborhood and want to introduce yourself to your neighbor. Write a letter to your neighbor. In your letter: Explain who you are and why you are writing. Describe your family and interests. Offer to meet them in person to get acquainted.

Some people argue that fashion items cost too much money. Others say that this is acceptable because fashion is an important part of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists, but not local people. Why this is the case? What can be done to attract more local people to visit these places?

The increase in mobile phone use in recent years has led to many social problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?