Some people think young people should follow the traditions of their society. Others think that they should be free to behave as individuals.
It is true that youngsters’ behaviours are a topic of much debate.
While
there might be some reasons to support the traditional attitudes, I am of the opinion that individuals’ characteristics enhance creativity, innovation and the society economy.
On one hand, traditional education provides students with ethical and cultural laws. This
can be explained by the fact that youngsters in Vietnam have a connection with customs and bounds while
growing up. For example
, parental guidance for their offspring contains respect and admiration for older people, instilling in their perception to have the right attitudes toward others, and not to be an insolent juvenile. As a result
, later generations continue to reaffirm this
crucial character, an inherited norm.
On the other hand
, I am of the opinion that freedom stimulating children to be themselves has a result in innovation. This
is because preadolescents can behave differently from each other, are not scared of being different, and define themselves clearly . For instance
, there are many parents who encourage their children to pursue their own careers without expecting them to be doctors or managers , disregarding other choices. Without imitating their ancestors, there would be a high range of job choices. Consequently
, countries are contained with different colors
, contributing to the economy, and advertising the regions with special and dissimilar features.
In conclusion, Change the spelling
colours
while
there are many benefits regarding customary being critical and necessary, I still believe that it is more advantageous to individuals’ characteristics because of diverse attitudes and behaviours. It is advisable that each person can perform freely but in a moral way.Submitted by nguyetcat.dao on
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coherence cohesion
It would be beneficial to provide more explicit topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to better introduce the main arguments. This guides the examiner through your line of reasoning.
task achievement
Elaborate on your examples to make them more specific and detailed. For instance, illustrate the positive outcomes of individualism in Vietnamese youth with real-life examples.
task achievement
Consider expanding on the counterargument to traditionalism and provide a balanced discussion before stating your opinion. This would show a full consideration of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Improve the range and complexity of sentence structures to showcase your grammatical range. Avoid repetitive patterns where possible.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the essay with suitable linking words and phrases to better connect ideas and paragraphs, ensuring smooth transitions for the reader.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?