The increase in crime rate in cities is a major concern for governments. Discuss the causes of this increase and suggest ways to reduce crime.
Nowadays, various reasons like financial pressure and some tempting amount of money which can be earned by convicting the
crimes
can lead to a notable increase in crime
rate in cities
specially
in metropolitan Replace the word
especially
cities
. This
essay argues some roots including the financial problems, lack of preventive rules
and the role of family. Then
, some proposed remedies and measures like fund raising
for Correct your spelling
fundraising
this
matter as well as
the roles of parents and governemt
that could be taken into account in order to alleviate Correct your spelling
government
this
problem are presented afterward
.
In terms of reasons causing Change the spelling
afterwards
this
pressing problem, the first one to consider is a
reduced circumstances in Correct article usage
the
cities
that some families are facing. In other words
, if the
poverty is widespread Correct article usage
apply
among
Change preposition
in
the
society, Correct article usage
apply
the
people Correct article usage
apply
in particular
financial responsibles
in families are more likely to contemplate Correct your spelling
responsible
the
Correct article usage
apply
crime
. Also
, the preventive rules
that can decrease the possibility of crime
commitment can help. Another intrinsic factor that plays a vital role in this
detrimental problem is that the lack of paternal guidance and moral guidlines
may lead youngsters astray. Correct your spelling
guidelines
Therefore
, rarely can we find a prisoner that have
been nurtured in a family paying attention to their culture and ethics.
To propose some related suggestions, the government not only has to make Change the verb form
has
effort
to alleviate povertyCorrect article usage
an effort
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
pass some rules
and commensurate punishments to deter the potential criminials
from convicting the Correct your spelling
criminals
criminal
crimes
. Also
, the authorities have to raise the funds allocated to the passed rules
to ensure the
applicability Change the word
their
of
Change preposition
apply
them
throughout the Correct pronoun usage
apply
cities
. On the other hand
, families have to set some guidlines
to nurture their children. Correct your spelling
guidelines
This
can decline
the possibility of Verb problem
reduce
crime
commitment.
To conclude
, it is argued that some financial restrictions may cause the
Correct article usage
apply
crimes
in cities
and government
has the responsibility to cope with them improving the Add an article
the government
economical
situation. Replace the word
economic
Also
, the law makers
have to introduce some Correct your spelling
lawmakers
rules
that put the criminals off the street. Moreover
, paying a
proper attention to Remove the article
apply
nurtur
of young people can lead to Correct your spelling
the nurturing
decrease
in juvenile Correct article usage
a decrease
crimes
.Submitted by hamidreza.rezaei21 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure of your essay, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph relate directly to that idea. Use transition words to connect ideas smoothly from one sentence to the next.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are both clear and reiterate your main points. Your introduction should introduce the topic and your argument, while the conclusion should summarize the points made without adding new information.
task achievement
Support your main points with more detailed examples. Providing real-life instances, statistical data, or citing specific studies can strengthen your argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Work on providing a more complete response to the task by ensuring that your essay covers all parts of the prompt fully. This includes discussing the causes of the problem as well as suggesting a wider range of solutions.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas by expanding upon them with more depth and detail. Avoid vague statements and strive to be as specific as possible in your explanations and suggestions.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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