The bar chart shows the percentage of school children learning to play different musical instrument in 2005, 2010 and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the percentage of school children learning to play different musical instrument in 2005, 2010 and 2015. 

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph illustrates the level of students in practising
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
of musical
instrument
Fix the agreement mistake
instruments
show examples
in 2005, 2010, and 2015. The research's objectives focused on 4 types of musical instruments: the
piano
, guitar, drums, and violin.
Overall
, the chart showed a significant increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the trend from 2005-2015. It vividly visualized how in 2015 numerous school children were more eager to learn musical
instrument
Fix the agreement mistake
instruments
show examples
than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
preceeding years.
In addition
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every
years
Change to a singular noun
year
show examples
,
piano
and guitar always remained
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the most
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
music tools to learn.
Although
in 2005 and 2010
piano
led the trends, in 2015 there
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
seems to be
switch
Add an article
a switch
the switch
show examples
.
Guitar
Add an article
The guitar
show examples
finally
exceeded
piano
with
percentage
Add an article
a percentage
show examples
around 40%, slightly higher than
piano
.
However
, both instruments evidently proposed a good performance as it always increased every year.
On the other hand
, Violin continuously showed
steady
Add an article
a steady
show examples
decline. Eventually, it became the least favorite instrument to
practised
Verb problem
practice
show examples
in 2015.
In contrast
, drums were making a better trend than
violin
Fix the agreement mistake
violins
show examples
as the statistic keep increased until it reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
almost 10% in 2015.
Submitted by kezia.ch.wibowo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words piano with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: