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Band 6.5

The charts below give information about attendance at entertainment venues and admission prices to those venues in 2009.

The charts below give information about attendance at entertainment venues and admission prices to those venues in 2009.
#information #attendance #entertainment #venues #admission #prices
The chart illustrates attendance at entertainment
venues
,
while
 the table shows prices for these events in 2009.
Overall
, the majority of visitors went to the cinema as
apposed
Correct your spelling
opposed
show examples
 to other
venues
, which was
due to
cheap
Correct article usage
the cheap
show examples
 costs of it. As can be seen from the chart, sports events were the lowest attended
venues
,
whereas
themeparks
Correct your spelling
theme parks
 accounted for almost double of
venues
. The numbers were 170 and 350 respectively. In comparison, cinemas were the highest attended
venues
, at 1050.
Nevertheless
, the prices for football games were the highest, where one
ticket
cost
 between 71 and 75 dollars, and
family
Correct article usage
a family
show examples
ticket
cost
 around 280-298 dollars, which comprised seats for people.
On the other hand
, basketball and cricket games
cost
 much less r at 34$ and 24$ for one
ticket
 respectively.
Additionally
, the figures for family
ticket
Fix the agreement mistake
tickets
show examples
 were 135 and 80 dollars. The price of theme parks was
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
70-210$,
whereas
 the
cost
 of the cinema was around 15-55$.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words venues, ticket, cost with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • attendance
  • entertainment venues
  • admission prices
  • visitors
  • comparison
  • percentage
  • revenue
  • cost-effective
  • correlation
  • trends
  • marketing strategies
  • fluctuations
  • cultural events
  • accessibility
  • demographics
  • peak season
  • off-peak
  • consumer behavior
  • pricing strategy
  • profit margin
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