In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables.
It is being observed that in some towns, public parks and open spaces are used as gardens in which local people could foster their own
fruit
and vegetables. Fix the agreement mistake
fruits
This
essay will outline why in my opinion as to
Change preposition
apply
why
I believe the drawbacks of Rephrase
apply
this
change outweigh the benefits.
The main disadvantage of this
development is reducing entertain
spaces. Replace the word
entertainment
For example
, if citizens want to do some outdoor activities, they could not be able to find a place easily, or even they could be forced to take a long wat
to find somewhere. The Correct your spelling
wait
less
parks Change the quantifier
fewer
exist
, the Correct pronoun usage
that exist
less
options to have Change the quantifier
fewer
fun
time come as follows. Correct article usage
a fun
Additionally
, children are often taken to parks to play with their friends.
Another disadvantage of this
situation is decreasing the number of trees. A high number of trees are grown in these places by governments for some purposes such
as improving the quality of air. By cutting them and replacing with
farms, air pollution could certainly be a major bottleneck. Correct pronoun usage
them with
Subsequently
, noy
only could not it tackle an issue, but it Correct your spelling
not
also
makes
the situation worse.
Wrong verb form
made
Nevertheless
, there are some advantages to this
trend, on
of which is having more organic Correct your spelling
one
food
. By making some farmlands in cities and encouraging locals to grow their food
, more healthy herbs could possibly be provided for them. This
could result in decreasing
the rate of diseases Replace the word
a decrease in
such
as cardiovascular disorders. Counsequently
, via giving related know-how to people, they could observe all steps of their Correct your spelling
Consequently
food
sources.
In conclusion, to reiterate, I completely agree that the demerits of replacing farms with green spaces on the surface of city
which are having a significant decline in fun places, and the population of trees outnumber the possible merit which is access to more nutritious Add an article
the city
a city
food
.Submitted by benyaminzademoradian1378 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing paragraph transitions to connect your ideas more effectively. This will improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to substantiate your arguments. This can strengthen your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively outlining your position on the topic.
task achievement
You have addressed both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, providing a balanced perspective.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?