In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables.

#cities #parks #spaces #gardens #residents #fruit #vegetables

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is being observed that in some towns, public parks and open spaces are used as gardens in which local people could foster their own

fruit

Fix the agreement mistake

fruits

show examples

and vegetables.

This

essay will outline why in my opinion

as to

Change preposition

apply

show examples

why

Rephrase

apply

show examples

I believe the drawbacks of

this

change outweigh the benefits. The main disadvantage of

this

development is reducing

entertain

Replace the word

entertainment

show examples

spaces.

For example

, if citizens want to do some outdoor activities, they could not be able to find a place easily, or even they could be forced to take a long

wat

Correct your spelling

wait

show examples

to find somewhere. The

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

parks

exist

Correct pronoun usage

that exist

show examples

, the

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

options to have

fun

Correct article usage

a fun

show examples

time come as follows.

Additionally

, children are often taken to parks to play with their friends. Another disadvantage of

this

situation is decreasing the number of trees. A high number of trees are grown in these places by governments for some purposes

such

as improving the quality of air. By cutting them and replacing

with

Correct pronoun usage

them with

show examples

farms, air pollution could certainly be a major bottleneck.

Subsequently

noy

Correct your spelling

not

only could not it tackle an issue, but it

also

makes

Wrong verb form

made

show examples

the situation worse.

Nevertheless

, there are some advantages to

this

trend,

Correct your spelling

one

show examples

of which is having more organic

food

. By making some farmlands in cities and encouraging locals to grow their

food

, more healthy herbs could possibly be provided for them.

This

could result in

decreasing

Replace the word

a decrease in

show examples

the rate of diseases

such

as cardiovascular disorders.

Counsequently

Correct your spelling

Consequently

, via giving related know-how to people, they could observe all steps of their

food

sources. In conclusion, to reiterate, I completely agree that the demerits of replacing farms with green spaces on the surface of

city

Add an article

the city

a city

show examples

which are having a significant decline in fun places, and the population of trees outnumber the possible merit which is access to more nutritious

food

Submitted by benyaminzademoradian1378 on Sat Nov 02 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Work on enhancing paragraph transitions to connect your ideas more effectively. This will improve the flow of your essay.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to substantiate your arguments. This can strengthen your task achievement score.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively outlining your position on the topic.

task achievement

You have addressed both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, providing a balanced perspective.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

296 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Urban Agriculture
Community Engagement
Social Interaction
Physical Exercise
Mental Relaxation
Fresh Produce
Sustainability
Biodiversity
Carbon Footprint
Air Quality
Educational Opportunities
Horticulture
Teamwork
Sustainable Living
Food Security
Locally-grown
Nutritious
Neighborhood Bonds
Urban Sustainability

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.
It is often argued that it is more advantageous to choose a job with high wage, even if it doesn't appeal to you at all. I completely disagree with this opinion and think that job satisfaction is much more important than salary.
5.5
band
Nowadays most green lifestyle is becoming more and more popular in both developed and developing countries. Some argue it greatly is better for the environment. Others believe that changing one's lifestyle is too ambitious. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In recent times green lifestyle is the most considerable one in the world. Some people believe that it is difficult to change their existing, while others argue that it should be better for the environment, especially, for pollution reduction. Both points of view and my reason why I agree with the latter agreement will be elaborated on in this essay.
7
band
Technology is being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.
There is an ever-increasing use of technology, such as tablets and laptops, in the classroom. It is often argued that this is a positive development, whilst others disagree and think it will lead to adverse ramifications. This essay agrees that an increase in technology is beneficial to students and teachers.
4
band
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You have bought a new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems. You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: introduce yourself explain the situation say what action you would like the company to take You should write at least 150 words.
I am writing this letter to express my dissatisfaction with a camera that I bought from your company which had sent for repairing.
5.5
band
You have been working in a company for the last two years. Recently, your computer in the office has started giving some problems and it is affecting your work performance. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter, describe the problem and explain how it is affecting your work write what you want him to do regarding it Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to provide any addresses. Begin your letter as follows:
Dear Sir, I hope you are doing amazing. I am writing this letter to bring your attention on ongoing issues with my office computer, which hindrance my my work performance. Initially it takes about half an hour to start that creates down time for me everyday. Secondly, it shuts down on its own during the work, which extremely gives me a tough time. As you are well familiar with the company's rule. We have to sign in our computer for attendance at shop 9:00. Whereas it takes time to start. Due to this, I clocked in everyday at half past 9:00, and have to do work with full face to cover up my downtime. What is more, yesterday it's turned off in between the meeting that showed me unprofessional, and I had lost my deal after that. As a manager, I would like you to change my computer as soon as possible since it becoming awful day by day. Even though, I informed Our IT department for a few times, but I have not received any response. I have implicit faith in you, and I believe you will so...

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables.

Your opinion

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

Nowadays most green lifestyle is becoming more and more popular in both developed and developing countries. Some argue it greatly is better for the environment. Others believe that changing one's lifestyle is too ambitious. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Technology is being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.