IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The images below explains the process of how pollutants from modern life become acid rain that in turn pollutes the environment and the food chain.

#images #process #pollutants #life #acid #rain #pollutes #environment #food #chain
The diagram shows the process of how
pollutants
 from modern life become
acid
rain
 that in turn pollutes the
environment
 and the food chain. First of all, housing, transport, factories and power stations create the
pollutants
. These
pollutants
 have carbon dioxide, sulphur dioxide, nitrogen oxides, mercury and other compounds.
As a result
, all these compounds are absorbed into the clouds and polluted clouds cross countries and continents and these compounds become
acid
rain
.
Therefore
, clouds laden with
pollutants
 condense and fall on the Earth as
acid
rain
falls
Verb problem
apply
show examples
which
harmful
Add a missing verb
is harmful
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
environment
. Following that, the
acid
rain
 falls onto hills, fields, trees, plants, and into the rivers and lakes. The
environment
absorb
Change the verb form
absorbs
show examples
 these acids and
keep
Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
show examples
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
show examples
 themself.
Subsequently
, rivers and Lakes will not be suitable for humans and animals. After that,
acid
rain
pollute
Change the verb form
pollutes
show examples
 the
environment
 and
pollutants
 enter the food chain that can kill animals, trees, and plants
then
 destroy the
environment
.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Structure
Consider varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement. Using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences can make your essay more dynamic.
Content
To improve task achievement, focus on integrating more specific examples or case studies that could illustrate the points you're making about acid rain and its effects. This could significantly enrich your essay.
Structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each part should serve its purpose: introduce the topic, elaborate on it, and summarize your main points, respectively.
Coherence
You've provided a logical flow that guides the reader through the process of how pollutants transform into acid rain and its consequent impact on the environment.
Task Response
Your essay effectively covers the necessary elements required by the task. You've clearly demonstrated an understanding of the topic by discussing the origins of pollutants, the formation of acid rain, and its effects on the natural world.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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