life was better when technology was simpler? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In today's era
technology
Use synonyms
has overtaken the whole world. The usage
as well as
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the growth of
technology
Use synonyms
has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased
from
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in
show examples
past
Correct article usage
the past
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few years. There is an argument regarding that, lifestyle was better when
technology
Use synonyms
was not used as much as compared to today. I completely agree with
this
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notion and
this
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essay will discuss some points regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
this
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case. At the onset, There is a quote that " Old is Gold", and
this
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thing can be related
in
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to
show examples
current
Correct article usage
the current
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time. In
old
Correct article usage
the old
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days, almost every work was done manually and because of
this
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majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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of people used to stay fit and healthy,
whereas
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on the other hand
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,
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
we can see that robots and
machine
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machines
show examples
has
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have
show examples
took
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taken
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
manplace
Correct your spelling
place
. People usually start to take benefit of
this
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and
as a
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result
Add a comma
result,
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they become
compltely
Correct your spelling
completely
reliable on machinery.
Thus
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, they spend most of their time as
a couch-potato
Correct your spelling
couch potatoes
show examples
. To prove it, In
USA
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the USA
show examples
the usage of
technology
Use synonyms
has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
risen up so much that the
citizen
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citizens
show examples
overthere
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over there
have started to get health
disease
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diseases
show examples
such
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as obesity and many more.
This
Linking Words
is just because they
dont
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don't
want to work with their own hands.
Additionally
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,
technology
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
started to
overridden
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override
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
brain power
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apply
show examples
also
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. Many inventions like
calculator
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calculators
show examples
,
computer
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computers
show examples
and so on
has
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have
show examples
been so popular that
instead
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of using
Correct pronoun usage
their mind
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mind
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minds
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or reading
the
Correct article usage
apply
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actual
book
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books
show examples
, people prefer to use these gadgets.
Although
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, these things
has
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have
show examples
many
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
but
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apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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made
Wrong verb form
make
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
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humans
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stop using
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
own sense.
For Instance
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, Around
1990s
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the 1990s
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a
women
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woman
show examples
was elected all over the world and
also
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set a
guiness
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Guinness
world record stating that she was the first
human computer
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human-computer
show examples
.
This
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was just because she objected to
go
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going
show examples
over those gadgets and kept trust
on
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in
show examples
her own
belief
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beliefs
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and
as a result
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she was awarded for being the best. In Conclusion, I completely agree
by
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apply
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stating that
old
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my old
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life was far better than
current
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the current
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situatio
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situation
.
The
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In the
show examples
same way as the coin has two
side
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sides
show examples
,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
some places
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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things
had made
Wrong verb form
have
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a huge benefit on
human
Correct word choice
apply
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mankind.
Submitted by hlife4454 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider restructuring your essay to have a clear introduction, at least two or three body paragraphs, and a conclusion that reinforces your main argument. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the following sentences support it directly.
introduction conclusion present
Introduce your essay with a clear thesis statement that outlines what you will be discussing. Your conclusion should restate your main point and briefly summarize the supporting arguments made in the essay.
supported main points
Support your main points with specific examples and elaborations. Avoid making broad claims without evidence to back them up. Use examples from credible sources or hypothetical situations that clearly illustrate your point.
complete response
To fully address the task, ensure you answer the question directly and maintain this position throughout your essay. Make sure to expand on your ideas with clear, relevant explanations that directly relate to how life was better when technology was simpler.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on expressing your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Aim for variety in sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance readability and coherence. Avoid repetition and practice using synonyms to improve your lexical resource.
relevant specific examples
You used relevant examples, but to receive a higher score, the examples should be grounded in specifics that demonstrate a clear connection to the argument. Also, be sure to analyze these examples within the context of your argument, showing how they support your overall thesis.
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