life was better when technology was simpler? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today's era
technology
has overtaken the whole world. The usage
as well as
the growth of
technology
has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
few years. There is an argument regarding that, lifestyle was better when
technology
was not used as much as compared to today. I completely agree with
this
notion and
this
essay will discuss some points regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
this
case. At the onset, There is a quote that " Old is Gold", and
this
thing can be related
in
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to
show examples
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
time. In
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
days, almost every work was done manually and because of
this
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of people used to stay fit and healthy,
whereas
on the other hand
,
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
we can see that robots and
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
took
Change the verb form
taken
show examples
the
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their
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manplace
Correct your spelling
place
. People usually start to take benefit of
this
and
as a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
they become
compltely
Correct your spelling
completely
reliable on machinery.
Thus
, they spend most of their time as
a couch-potato
Correct your spelling
couch potatoes
show examples
. To prove it, In
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
the usage of
technology
has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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risen up so much that the
citizen
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citizens
show examples
overthere
Correct your spelling
over there
have started to get health
disease
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diseases
show examples
such
as obesity and many more.
This
is just because they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
want to work with their own hands.
Additionally
,
technology
have
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has
show examples
started to
overridden
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override
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
brain power
Rephrase
apply
show examples
also
. Many inventions like
calculator
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calculators
show examples
,
computer
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computers
show examples
and so on
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
been so popular that
instead
of using
Correct pronoun usage
their mind
show examples
mind
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minds
show examples
or reading
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
actual
book
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books
show examples
, people prefer to use these gadgets.
Although
, these things
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
many
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
made
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
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humans
show examples
stop using
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
own sense.
For Instance
, Around
1990s
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the 1990s
show examples
a
women
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woman
show examples
was elected all over the world and
also
set a
guiness
Correct your spelling
Guinness
world record stating that she was the first
human computer
Add a hyphen
human-computer
show examples
.
This
was just because she objected to
go
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going
show examples
over those gadgets and kept trust
on
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in
show examples
her own
belief
Fix the agreement mistake
beliefs
show examples
and
as a result
she was awarded for being the best. In Conclusion, I completely agree
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
stating that
old
Correct pronoun usage
my old
show examples
life was far better than
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
situatio
Correct your spelling
situation
.
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
same way as the coin has two
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
some places
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
things
had made
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
a huge benefit on
human
Correct word choice
apply
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mankind.
Submitted by hlife4454 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider restructuring your essay to have a clear introduction, at least two or three body paragraphs, and a conclusion that reinforces your main argument. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the following sentences support it directly.
introduction conclusion present
Introduce your essay with a clear thesis statement that outlines what you will be discussing. Your conclusion should restate your main point and briefly summarize the supporting arguments made in the essay.
supported main points
Support your main points with specific examples and elaborations. Avoid making broad claims without evidence to back them up. Use examples from credible sources or hypothetical situations that clearly illustrate your point.
complete response
To fully address the task, ensure you answer the question directly and maintain this position throughout your essay. Make sure to expand on your ideas with clear, relevant explanations that directly relate to how life was better when technology was simpler.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on expressing your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Aim for variety in sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance readability and coherence. Avoid repetition and practice using synonyms to improve your lexical resource.
relevant specific examples
You used relevant examples, but to receive a higher score, the examples should be grounded in specifics that demonstrate a clear connection to the argument. Also, be sure to analyze these examples within the context of your argument, showing how they support your overall thesis.
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