Professional sports involve large sums of money and receive enormous media coverage. Meanwhile serious culture, including music, art and theatre, is badly neglected. This is making our society shallower. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Large

Change the article

A large

show examples

amount

Fix the agreement mistake

amounts

show examples

of money and receive enormous

media

Use synonyms

coverage it is commonly

involve

Wrong verb form

involved

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

professional sports.

However

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

serious

Use synonyms

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

such

Linking Words

as music,art, and theatre

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

rarely get the attention that they

deserved

Wrong verb form

deserve

show examples

This

Linking Words

situation is making our

society

Use synonyms

shallower. I totally agree with

this

Linking Words

statement because it is very important to let

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

learn more about the

Use synonyms

culture

Replace the word

cultural

show examples

perfomances

Correct your spelling

performances

performance

. The

media

Use synonyms

usually put so much

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

Change preposition

into

show examples

only professional

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

and they rarely do the same thing for serious

culture

Use synonyms

performances. It is because

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

prefere

Correct your spelling

prefers

to watch

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

common sports.

Also

Linking Words

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

interest that

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

shows,

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

people think

to invested

Change preposition

about investing

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

program rather than the serious

culture

Use synonyms

one.

For example

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

really

Change the verb form

likes

show examples

to watch

basktetball

Correct your spelling

basketball

so the

authority

Fix the agreement mistake

authorities

show examples

and the

media

Use synonyms

prefer to put their attention more on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

basketball tournaments.

However

Linking Words

, I fully agree that

this

Linking Words

situation can lead them into

shallow

Correct article usage

a shallow

show examples

mindset

society

Use synonyms

. Because they do not allow to know more about the

culture

Use synonyms

perfomances

Correct your spelling

performances

performance

. They tend to like to get

entertain

Wrong verb form

entertained

show examples

watch

Change the verb form

watching

show examples

the program that the

media

Use synonyms

offers.

For instance

Linking Words

, in

this

Linking Words

digital

era

Add a comma

era,

show examples

people rarely spend their time to see an art exhibition or even go the music theatre, most of them can get really bored with

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

activities. Little that they know, there are various

Change preposition

apply

show examples

museum

Fix the agreement mistake

museums

show examples

and

theatre

Fix the agreement mistake

theatres

show examples

that offer serious

culture

Use synonyms

in the most interesting ways. As I mentioned before, if the authority and the

media

Use synonyms

keep

this

Linking Words

action going, it can

truely

Correct your spelling

truly

lead

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

to be

close minded

Add a hyphen

close-minded

show examples

about the serious

culture

Use synonyms

it self

Correct your spelling

itself

show examples

To sum up

Linking Words

received

Wrong verb form

receives

show examples

large

amount

Fix the agreement mistake

amounts

show examples

of money and

media

Use synonyms

attention it is commonly

involve

Wrong verb form

involved

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

professional sports. But I believe

this

Linking Words

action, can lead

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

to be

close minded

Add a hyphen

close-minded

show examples

and have a shallow knowledge about serious

Use synonyms

culture

Replace the word

cultural

show examples

performances.

bmaharani04Sat Jan 20 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure

Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Present your argument logically, with each paragraph building on the last.

coherence

To improve coherence, use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will help your essay to flow more naturally.

examples

Support your main ideas with detailed, relevant examples. Specific examples demonstrate that you understand the topic and can think critically about it.

task response

Fully address all parts of the task. Make sure your opinion on the issue is clear throughout the essay and that you cover all aspects of the topic.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
48
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some people think that formal education should start for children as early as possibl. While others think that it should not start until 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your opinio.
A considerable amount of people think that at an early age, for example, children should start getting an education while, on the other hand, some people think it should not begin till the age of 7 years. According to me, it is better for children to get an education from an early age therefore, they can get familiar with the education system at an early age.
7
band
It can be difficult for small local shops to compete with large supermarkets and with on-line shops. How does this affect local communities? What could be done to improve this situation?
It is not uncommon for small local shops to compete with chains of supermarkets and online shops. I believe that this may cause a decrease in the local shops' total amount of earnings, but local shops have some advantages over other types of shops and I believe they could promote them in order to solve the problem.
8
band
some people say that the bicycle is a good means of transport. Others say that the bicycle has many disadvantages. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
The debate surrounding the merits and drawbacks of bicycles as a mode of transportation has gained prominence in recent years. Proponents assert that bikes offer a plethora of advantages, whereas critics highlight their disadvantages. This essay will delve into both perspectives before articulating my own viewpoint.
6.5
band
It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Learning history has always been significant for enhancing children's awareness. While some people believe that students should only be taught about national history as it is more crucial for their development, others argue that the advantages of learning world history are more evident. This essay aims to shed light on both perspectives before ultimately concluding that learning about both local and global history is of paramount importance.
8
band
In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advatantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?
It is believed that almost all transports will be upgraded to autopilot in the future. People will be able to travel as passengers in the vehicle. I think the numerous advantages of a driverless car outweigh its disadvantages.

Professional sports involve large sums of money and receive enormous media coverage. Meanwhile serious culture, including music, art and theatre, is badly neglected. This is making our society shallower. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that formal education should start for children as early as possibl. While others think that it should not start until 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your opinio.

It can be difficult for small local shops to compete with large supermarkets and with on-line shops. How does this affect local communities? What could be done to improve this situation?

some people say that the bicycle is a good means of transport. Others say that the bicycle has many disadvantages. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advatantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?