Professional sports involve large sums of money and receive enormous media coverage. Meanwhile serious culture, including music, art and theatre, is badly neglected. This is making our society shallower. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#sports #sums #money #media #coverage #culture #music #art #theatre #society

Large

Change the article

A large

show examples

amount

Fix the agreement mistake

amounts

show examples

of money and receive enormous

media

coverage it is commonly

involve

Wrong verb form

involved

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

professional sports.

However

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

serious

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

such

as music,art, and theatre

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

rarely get the attention that they

deserved

Wrong verb form

deserve

show examples

This

situation is making our

society

shallower. I totally agree with

this

statement because it is very important to let

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

learn more about the

culture

Replace the word

cultural

show examples

perfomances

Correct your spelling

performances

performance

. The

media

usually put so much

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

Change preposition

into

show examples

only professional

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

and they rarely do the same thing for serious

culture

performances. It is because

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

prefere

Correct your spelling

prefers

to watch

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

common sports.

Also

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

interest that

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

shows,

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

people think

to invested

Change preposition

about investing

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

this

program rather than the serious

culture

one.

For example

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

really

Change the verb form

likes

show examples

to watch

basktetball

Correct your spelling

basketball

so the

authority

Fix the agreement mistake

authorities

show examples

and the

media

prefer to put their attention more on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

basketball tournaments.

However

, I fully agree that

this

situation can lead them into

shallow

Correct article usage

a shallow

show examples

mindset

society

. Because they do not allow to know more about the

culture

perfomances

Correct your spelling

performances

performance

. They tend to like to get

entertain

Wrong verb form

entertained

show examples

watch

Change the verb form

watching

show examples

the program that the

media

offers.

For instance

, in

this

digital

era

Add a comma

era,

show examples

people rarely spend their time to see an art exhibition or even go the music theatre, most of them can get really bored with

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

activities. Little that they know, there are various

Change preposition

apply

show examples

museum

Fix the agreement mistake

museums

show examples

and

theatre

Fix the agreement mistake

theatres

show examples

that offer serious

culture

in the most interesting ways. As I mentioned before, if the authority and the

media

keep

this

action going, it can

truely

Correct your spelling

truly

lead

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

to be

close minded

Add a hyphen

close-minded

show examples

about the serious

culture

it self

Correct your spelling

itself

show examples

To sum up

received

Wrong verb form

receives

show examples

large

amount

Fix the agreement mistake

amounts

show examples

of money and

media

attention it is commonly

involve

Wrong verb form

involved

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

professional sports. But I believe

this

action, can lead

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

to be

close minded

Add a hyphen

close-minded

show examples

and have a shallow knowledge about serious

culture

Replace the word

cultural

show examples

performances.

Submitted by bmaharani04 on Sat Jan 20 2024

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
48Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

305 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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