IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary . Do the advantages outweigh the disavantages?

#experts #children #language #school #disavantages
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Being a multilinguistic can actually open many opportunities in someone's life. It can
also
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 create an additional point in
career
Add an article
a career
the career
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. A lot of experts believe that the child should start learning a new foreign language in primary class
instead
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 of secondary. It is the best and an effective way to learn new
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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.
This
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 essay will discuss
abot
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about
 some advantages regard to
this
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 matter. At the onset, if kids are made to
educate
Wrong verb form
be educated
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a
Change preposition
in a
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new language
at
Change preposition
on
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 a preliminary basis
than
Correct your spelling
then
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 it can actually create a great impact on their career as they will have a lot of time to learn and can
also
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 get
advance
Replace the word
advanced
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 knowledge about that new subject.
Furthurmore
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Furthermore
, in primary class they can
also
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 add a new course
regaring
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regarding
this
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and can keep a subject for them to learn.
Additionally
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,if they start learning at a
vey
Correct your spelling
very
 young age
than
Correct your spelling
then
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 they can even have a lot
a
Correct your spelling
of
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 time to get
Correct article usage
a mastery
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mastery
Replace the word
master
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 in that course.By implementing
this
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 method, it can add an additional skill for the upcoming generation. To quote an instance, In
canada
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Canada
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 at many kindergarten schools children are made to learn French
along with
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 the English language. By doing so they can slowly start to count themself in
French
Add an article
the French
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 community. In conclusion, I personally believe that by doing
this
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 we can start to develop a better generation. The pros are usually more for being a
bilaungual
Correct your spelling
bilingual
 rather than just being an ordinary guy.
Submitted by hlife4454 on

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coherence cohesion
You should aim to provide a clear structure to your essay, with an introduction that paraphrases the question, a body that elaborates on your points effectively, and a conclusion that summarizes your arguments and restates your position. Seek to use clear paragraphing with topic sentences that introduce the idea of the paragraph. Additionally, work on using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs more coherently.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure you address all parts of the task. Discuss both the advantages and disadvantages before giving your own opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Make sure your ideas are not only clear but also fully extended and supported by relevant examples. For each point, ask yourself if you could add an example or further explanation. Provide specific examples to back up your points and to highlight your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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