IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary . Do the advantages outweigh the disavantages?

#experts #children #language #school #disavantages
Being a multilinguistic can actually open many opportunities in someone's life. It can
also
 create an additional point in
career
Add an article
a career
the career
show examples
. A lot of experts believe that the child should start learning a new foreign language in primary class
instead
 of secondary. It is the best and an effective way to learn new
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
.
This
 essay will discuss
abot
Correct your spelling
about
 some advantages regard to
this
 matter. At the onset, if kids are made to
educate
Wrong verb form
be educated
show examples
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
new language
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a preliminary basis
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 it can actually create a great impact on their career as they will have a lot of time to learn and can
also
 get
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
 knowledge about that new subject.
Furthurmore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, in primary class they can
also
 add a new course
regaring
Correct your spelling
regarding
this
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and can keep a subject for them to learn.
Additionally
,if they start learning at a
vey
Correct your spelling
very
 young age
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 they can even have a lot
a
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 time to get
Correct article usage
a mastery
show examples
mastery
Replace the word
master
show examples
 in that course.By implementing
this
 method, it can add an additional skill for the upcoming generation. To quote an instance, In
canada
Change the capitalization
Canada
show examples
 at many kindergarten schools children are made to learn French
along with
 the English language. By doing so they can slowly start to count themself in
French
Add an article
the French
show examples
 community. In conclusion, I personally believe that by doing
this
 we can start to develop a better generation. The pros are usually more for being a
bilaungual
Correct your spelling
bilingual
 rather than just being an ordinary guy.
Submitted by hlife4454 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
You should aim to provide a clear structure to your essay, with an introduction that paraphrases the question, a body that elaborates on your points effectively, and a conclusion that summarizes your arguments and restates your position. Seek to use clear paragraphing with topic sentences that introduce the idea of the paragraph. Additionally, work on using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs more coherently.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure you address all parts of the task. Discuss both the advantages and disadvantages before giving your own opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Make sure your ideas are not only clear but also fully extended and supported by relevant examples. For each point, ask yourself if you could add an example or further explanation. Provide specific examples to back up your points and to highlight your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: