Some people say that the music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

The majority of

people

say that

music

is a good way of bringing many

individuals

one

multicultural community with multicultural and different

ages

together. Personally, I agree with

this

statement because

music

can bring cultural differences together. Many

people

argue

music

is not a thing when it comes to building a relationship because it is not only about

music

but

also

a personality. Different cultures and

ages

do not mean

individuals

would gather in

one

space just because of

music

For instance

, to be a friend of someone, many

individuals

would consider someone’s personality first rather than know about their taste in

music

On the other hand

, it is easier to bring

people

one

place with the

helping

Replace the word

help

show examples

music

. If some

individuals

have the same

music

taste, they will feel connected to each other even though they have different cultures and

ages

are different.

For example

, there is research that shows

people

are willing to be in

one

place with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

others they do not know if there is

one

similar thing. I believe

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it can be applied in

this

situation which is gathering a lot of

people

by the

music

, like in a

music

concert.

As a result

, cultures and

ages

are not a problem as long as they can communicate and go well. In conclusion, not everyone can be easily connected only by

music

However

, in my opinion, I believe that the same

music

taste is a good thing for

people

to bring a community in

one

place because it is easier for them to gather.

Submitted by ieltswriting91 on Sat Jan 20 2024

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task response

Provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction to effectively address the essay prompt.

task response

Make sure to fully answer the essay question, discussing the extent to which you agree or disagree.

task response

Include specific examples and details to support your opinions, providing a deeper insight into your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Organize your essay with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph should contain one main idea and be linked with clear transition phrases.

coherence and cohesion

Make use of varied sentence structures to enhance the readability and flow of your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure your conclusion summarizes your main ideas and restates your thesis in a succinct manner, providing a strong wrap-up to your essay.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that the music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that what individuals do to protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays the differences between countries are becoming less evident because people follow the same media. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?