the graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.

the graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.
This
line
chart depicts the Tourist Information Office's reply for 6
month
Change to a plural noun
months
show examples
in 2011 in one place. It is clear from the graph that the questions came
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
telephone and personally increased rapidly during the
last
three months.
While
that received by letters or emails fell down gradually.
According to
what is shown in person and mobile
line
chart, both of them went up. But, from March to April phone
line
was constant,
while
individuals keep rose until reached the highest point by 1900 in June. At the same moment, a cell phone was nearest 1600. As for
email
Correct article usage
the email
show examples
line
, its slope was negative and dropped down to approximately 380 in May.
Then
, it became constant from month (5 to 6) in 2011
about
Change preposition
at about
show examples
380 which was the lowest point it reached.
To sum up
, we could say that the information questions were almost the same,
then
both unwritten enquiries climbed from March to June in 2011.
Submitted by bader.salem2001 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words line with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • enquiries
  • Tourist Information Office
  • in person
  • by letter/email
  • by telephone
  • general trend
  • six-month period
  • significant increase
  • steady rise
  • decline
  • peak
  • fluctuations
  • monthly data
  • comparison
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