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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Being a celebrity-like a famous movie star or sports figure-brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems

#celebrity-like #movie #star #sports #figure-brings #celebrity
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In my opinion, being a
celebrity
 brings many
benefits
. Especially in the field of movies and sports. Being a
celebrity
 is definitely not easy, having to deal with a lot of negative aspects
such
 as when we leave the house there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a lot of paparazzi following us or there are stalkers chasing us. But behind it all being a
celebrity
 has great
benefits
, especially
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 society.
Like celebrities
Correct word choice
Celebrities
show examples
 in the field of cinema provide
benefits
 through the films they act in. And the proceeds of their movie ticket sales are allocated to countries where there is war
or
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 all kinds.
Also
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
celebrities in the field of sports, they provide
benefits
 and at the same time an example to their fans that sports and living a healthy life are very important for the fitness and health of our bodies.
All
Change preposition
Of all
show examples
 professions, of course, there are those that bring many
benefits
 and those that bring many problems. But in my personal opinion, being a
celebrity
 does not bring any problems to the public at all. But it all depends on how the
celebrity
 behaves and responds to things that happen in his life.
Submitted by zefanyagyu on

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introduction
You should provide a clear introduction which mentions both the benefits and problems of being a celebrity, as well as your own standpoint.
logical structure
Ensure to structure your essay with clear paragraphs, each with a central idea, followed by explanations or examples.
conclusion
End with a conclusion that summarizes the main points of your essay and restates your opinion in a clear manner.
main points
Develop your main points by providing relevant, specific examples to support your argument.
task response
Make sure your essay fully addresses the topic by discussing both benefits and problems, even if you believe one outweighs the other.
examples
Include some specific examples from actual celebrities or incidents to strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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