Children today spend too much time playing on screens and not enough time doing physical activity. We need to get rid of our children’s devices to avoid severe strains on our health system in the future. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
With the rise of streaming services and the prevalence of video games, contemporary
children
spend a significant amount of duration on screens
and less time
engaging in physical activity. Although
I agree that physical activity is vital, I do not think it and watch time
are mutually exclusive; I, therefore
, disagree that we need to eradicate screens
fully to keep our offspring healthy. In this
essay, I will discuss this
issue using examples to support arguments and demonstrate points.
On the one hand, viewing interval can lead to an overall
decline in physical health. When children
pass hours frozen, watching a video, they harm their bodies and their minds. For example
, doctors agree that offspring who spend more than the average amount of time
on screens
per day without moving are more likely to be obese than offspring who spend below-average periods watching screens
. Therefore
, minimizing static screen time
is indeed a worthy goal.
However
, this
does not mean that the only way to do this
is by getting rid of screens
. Recently, programmers have developed a variety of applications that encourage children
to move. By training them to dance, perform martial arts, or do callisthenics, these screen-based activities actually encourage movement. In fact, it has been noted that, on average, using such
applications burns more calories per day than a game of kickball. Encouraging teenagers to use their screen time
on such
applications would therefore
give them the best of both worlds.
To sum up
, although
a sedentary lifestyle has clear dangers, screen use is not necessarily an indication that youngsters will burden our health system; by using screens
to promote, rather than replace, physical activity, we can prevent widespread health issues due to
lack of movement. To this
end, parents should consider encouraging children
to use movement-based apps.Submitted by rbtech65 on
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Task Achievement
Ensure that examples used are detailed and specific to enhance the persuasiveness of the argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on expanding and deepening the main points with further analysis to ensure a comprehensive exploration of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Link each main idea clearly to the overall argument using a range of cohesive devices for a more coherent essay.
Task Achievement
Consider exploring potential counterarguments to demonstrate critical engagement with the topic.