Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause?What are the solutions?
The number of full-time employment older
people
has been escalating at an increasing rate in today's community, and this
situation has led to significant competition with younger generations. This
essay demonstrates firstly
the matters of this
social-economic issue such
as the ageing population and inflation by following an analysis of some suggestions like work division of labour to mitigate certain problems.
It is an undeniable fact that vacant positions have been declining in the labour market in recent decades due to
older people
having to be employed to be able to pay their private expenses these days. On the social aspect due to
the developments in the medical field
Add a comma
field,
people
have been living longer which means more pensionary across the globe. Thus
, government should be forced to raise the retirement age. The investigations of Cambridge University in 2019 predict that in 2050, there will be a noticeable increase of 13% in the older people
's ratio and these changes will be observed in Japan and European countries. The other aspect is inflation which has affected all of society since 2008. Losing the purchasing power of money leads to more challenges for living , especially for young people
, who can not help their parents financially.
Although
this
problem has multifactorial roots there are some steps that should be taken by governments to reduce this
competition in the long term. Older people
have more professional practice in their job. It is irreplaceable value for development, however
, young people
have more energy and can gain readily new perspectives in any field. Governments should encourage young and old people
to work together to combat this
social-economic condition and maximise benefits.
In conclusion, albeit the competition between the older and the younger has the mentioned reasons from different aspects, this
condition can be tackled with some actions and can change certain situations to the advantage of both sidesSubmitted by i.nureddinn on
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task response
Ensure that all points made directly address the problems and solutions related to competition between older and younger job-seekers. Occasionally, the essay veers off-topic.
task response
Incorporate more specific examples and data to support your points. For instance, discussing current real-world examples where older and younger employees successfully coexist might be beneficial.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance transitions between paragraphs and within the body of the text. This helps in maintaining a smoother flow of ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Clarify some of the points made in the essay. For instance, explain more about how inflation specifically affects the job market competition between older and younger people.
task response
The essay demonstrates an understanding of the socio-economic issues between the competing age groups.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay and provide clear context for the discussion.
coherence and cohesion
The suggestion of work division by labor and combining the strengths of both older and younger workers is a thoughtful and constructive solution.
task response
Comparisons based on real-world predictions, such as the citation of Cambridge University, add validity to the essay's claims.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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