Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some argue that it is unfair for experts in different industries whose salaries are less than successful
athletes
who are getting paid a greater amount of money because they have the same capability in their fields
thus
they must be treated the same.
However
,
this
essay thinks that
athletes
deserve huge paychecks because they have the optimum range of age to compete. On the one hand, folks argue that the huge gap in wages between professionals in
sports
and in other industries is unfair because they both are experts in their fields. They dedicate their life to becoming professionals. They went through long academic journeys and their perseverance made them who they are now.
For example
, specialist doctors have a long period of study, from a bachelor's degree to a PhD level. It takes nearly 10
years
to become a specialist and their annual salaries do not even close to the amount of money
athletes
receive after a single match.
However
,
this
essay believes that some professionals have longer periods in their careers compared to
athletes
.
On the other hand
, the enormous paychecks of
athletes
are fully justified because they only serve around 15
years
.
This
is because playing
sports
relies greatly on individuals’ physical strength,
thus
in each type of sport they have the range of optimum age to play.
For instance
, badminton players in Indonesia usually retire at around 35
years
old. They joined a competition at around 17
years
old. Their career spans are much shorter than other experts who often retire when they reach 55
years
old.
This
essay thinks that
for
this
reason, it is justified that they can receive a way bigger salary because after they retire, they have to shift their careers. In conclusion, even though skilful people in other fields have the same level of expertise as bright
sports
players, the industry pays huge amounts of salary because the
sports
players only have a shorter career period.
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coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Aim to improve the linking between ideas with more cohesive devices and better paragraph transitions
task achievement
Include an equal discussion of both views and ensure that you provide a conclusion that summarizes your own opinion more clearly after discussing both sides of the argument.
task achievement
Be sure to provide a balanced argument by discussing the other viewpoint as comprehensively as you did for the opinion you agree with, including equally compelling examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of complex sentence structures and aim for fewer errors in sentence construction for greater clarity.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial remuneration
  • exceptional
  • merit
  • talent
  • demand
  • entertainment value
  • career span
  • physical demands
  • justified
  • unfair
  • criticism
  • income inequality
  • societal priorities
  • sportsmanship
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