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There are those who consider work to be the paramount aspect of life, suggesting that without career success, life loses its meaning. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#work #aspect #life #career #success
It is argued that a meaningful
life
 is associated with a successful
career
.
However
, despite work taking the majority of
life
, in my opinion, a successful
career
 and a meaningful
life
 are not interrelated. On the one hand, a person with a successful
career
 usually considers his job as the top priority,
hence
, they will sacrifice their
health
 and
time
 to pursue a higher promotion which leads to
health
 issues and family relationships.
Firstly
, it could endanger their mental or physical
health
. The situation of overtime and high stress hurts mental or physical
health
such
 as anxiety or stomachache. As
time
 goes by, it will endanger the
health
 mentally and physically.
Moreover
, family relationships become less close. Giving most of their
time
 at work leads to a loss the family
time
,
therefore
, family interaction becomes less.
As a result
, the family relationship loses closeness.
On the other hand
, I do not believe that a meaningful
life
 is mainly attributed to a successful
career
 as
people
 have
further
 purposes that need to be fulfilled. First of all, exploring the world is a
life
 purpose. There are countless cultures and races on the planet, and through travel,
people
 can observe the differences and accept them, which is meaningful for some
people
 and sets it as a
life
 purpose.
Furthermore
, family
time
 is meaningful to
life
. Family is the closest relationship for a person,
while
people
 ignore them as the distance is too close.
consequently
,
people
 often regret missing the company
due to
 work.
Therefore
, spending as much as you can with family makes
people
’s lives meaningful.
To sum up
, I do not believe that a successful
career
 and a meaningful
life
 have a positive correlation,
however
,
such
 as exploring the world and offering a better
life
 to the family are other purposes that can make
people
’s lives meaningful.
Submitted by cuggikem on

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Task Achievement
For an improved task response, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Offer a balanced discussion with a clear position and elaborate on how your views relate to opposing arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, focus on the logical flow of your ideas. Clearly link your points with cohesive devices and ensure paragraphs transition smoothly from one to the next.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use topic sentences to introduce the main point of each paragraph, supporting them with more specific examples or data where possible to solidify your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Write a more developed conclusion that not only summarizes the main points but also reaffirms your position on the topic in a clear and concise manner.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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