IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In today’s digital age, anyone with a smartphone can capture and share photographs. this accessibility to photography diminishes the value of professional photographers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#today’s #age #anyone #smartphone #photographs #accessibility #photography #value #photographers
Nowadays anybody with the help of
smartphones
 can capture and
share
photographs
 and it can lead to unemployment because
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 accessibility to photography diminishes the value of professional
photographers
. I strongly disagree with
this
 statement.
To begin
 with, it is common knowledge that nowadays the majority of Individuals own
smartphones
 and they are able to take
photographs
 whenever they desire,
however
, that does not mean that the
quality
 of their
photographs
 will ever be better than the
quality
 of
photographs
 taken by professional
photographers
.
For instance
, one of my beloved friends adores taking
photographs
. It is his passion and every time we go out he
photographs
 what he sees food,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature and so on.
However
, the
quality
 of those photos can not be compared to the
quality
 of photos taken by professional
photographers
. We all with the help of
smartphones
 are able to capture and
share
photographs
 but it does not mean that we do not need professional
photographs
.
Secondly
, needless to say
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
cameras
 of
smartphones
 and digital
cameras
 can not be compared. There is no denying the fact that
cameras
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smartphones
 are good,
however
, the
quality
 of
photographs
 taken by digital
cameras
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 better. Professional
photographers
 take photos with digital
cameras
 and without question digital
cameras
 are not affordable for anyone which means that not many people are able to purchase
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
This
 means that even though, anyone with a smartphone can capture and
share
photographs
 the accessibility to photography does not
diminishes
Change the verb form
diminish
show examples
 the value of professional
photographers
. In conclusion, these days anyone is able to capture and
share
photographs
 with the help of
smartphones
,
however
 from my point of view
this
 accessibility to photography does not
diminishes
Change the verb form
diminish
show examples
 the value of professional
photographers
.
Submitted by tmargaryan2006 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and that all sentences within the paragraph contribute to that point. Try reorganizing some content for improved flow.
Coherence & Cohesion
Expand on your examples by explaining why they are relevant and how they support your argument in greater detail.
Task Achievement
To fully answer the question, provide a more nuanced perspective that acknowledges both sides of the argument before presenting your conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Be careful with grammar and punctuation to ensure clear communication of ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate more complex sentence structures to demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
Task Achievement
Make sure to answer the question prompt fully by directly addressing the extent to which you agree or disagree throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • democratization
  • visual culture
  • composition
  • lighting
  • technical skills
  • proliferation
  • oversaturate
  • niches
  • unique styles
  • replicated
  • high-quality
  • industries
  • underscore
  • showcase
  • collaboration
  • diverse perspectives
  • photographic landscape
  • amateur
  • professional
What to do next:
Look at other essays: