Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion
While
many people
sometimes argue that judgment enhancements are an effective way to reduce crime
, others argue that there are more creative ways to limit the problems. In my opinion, I think a long-term project would be more suitable.
To commence with, there are those who believe that longer prison terms are better because it isolated
Wrong verb form
isolates
criminals
off the streets and prevents them and others from reoffending. In other words
, when criminals
who commit violent crimes are imprisoned for several years, they have more time to reflect on their lives and become better people
. Additionally
, longer sentences can serve as a deterrent to others who may be tempted to commit similar atrocities. In America, for example
, the number of rapists has significantly
emphasized since they were sentenced to life imprisonment. Add a missing verb
been significantly
This
helps reduce the number of crimes.Furthermore
, the continuation of punishment means that society
is effectively protected. Besides
that, if long-term sentences are imposed on criminals
who pose a threat to society
, peace and harmony will be brought to society
. This
will reduce the frequency which
heinous crimes are reported.
Change preposition
with which
On the other hand
, people
often think it would be better if the focus was on building a greater society
rather than punishment. That's because the cost of housing prisoners long-term can be substantial, and the responsibility often falls on taxpaying citizens. Therefore
, the government should focus on the way criminals
serve society
and not the other way around. For example
, in Japan, if a person steals property, he will spend 30 days in an orphanage with foreign children who have lost everything. This
reduces crime
rates. Another reason is that prisons focus on punishment rather than training and rehabilitation programs. Other and better ways should be developed to educate villains and teach them with the skills, knowledge and resources to become better people
. This
will make the
Correct article usage
apply
society
become no crime
.
In conclusion, people
's opinions may differ. I think it is more beneficial to detention offenders for many years as it deters more crime
and restores peaceful
Replace the word
peace
for
the communityChange preposition
to
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that you structure your essay in a logical manner, with clear and distinct paragraphs for each point of view as well as for your own opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Introduce the topic and your opinion clearly in the introduction, and restate them in the conclusion for better clarity.
Coherence & Cohesion
Expand each main point with adequate support, either through explanations or specific examples, to strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring that you discuss both views and clearly provide your own opinion. Use examples that are relevant and specific to illustrate your points.
Task Achievement
Work on presenting ideas comprehensively by further developing each paragraph with more detailed information, explanation or examples.