Schools have a limited amount of money to spend.Some people suggest that it should be spent on good teachers,while others say it should be spent on computers.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Education is an important part of the human being
that is
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needed for society.The amount of
money
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that schools can spend is limited.
While
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some argue that
money
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should be spent on
computers
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,others argue that it should be used on qualified
teachers
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.I will discuss both
of
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apply
show examples
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
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in these essays and give my own point of view.
To begin
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, some pupils believe that
teachers
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are the backbone of all institutions. Because
students
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are going to
school
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when they are under 5.They do not know how to study and turn to the help of the instructor.So,highly educated people are
also
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needed in the
school
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who provide the proper education for all
students
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.
However
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,some people should be advised that the
money
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will be spent on an appropriate person to build good
students
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.
On the other hand
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,
computers
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are very necessary when
teachers
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teach them.The technical knowledge of the student will increase with the proper use of a computer.
For instance
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,it is used in computer labs and other science labs so that the
students
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can adapt to modern technology and
also
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gain proper knowledge from others.
Computers
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are used for other
school
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functions, and any work takes less time.So some people think schools should spend more
money
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in
this
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sector
To conclude
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,full-fund
money
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is very limited and should be spent in proper places.
Computers
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are needed as much as
teachers
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are needed in schools.Each gave their opinion; of course, both are required in
school
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.It is believed that one is related to the other.A qualified teacher can give the right advice to the
students
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, just as a computer can help a student move forward.So the
school
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authority should spend
money
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in both sectors.
As a result
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,the bright future of the
students
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will be ensured.
Submitted by nuresadikchowdhury175 on

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task achievement
The essay discusses both viewpoints and provides a conclusion, meeting the basic requirements of the task. However, the response could be more comprehensive. Consider expanding on the ideas presented, ensuring all points are fully developed and explained.
coherence cohesion
The essay introduces the topic and provides a conclusion, which is good for the structure. However, the development of ideas within paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences and better linking between them. Aim to make the progression of ideas smoother and use a wider range of cohesive devices.
task achievement
Although the essay includes some examples, they are quite general. Try to provide more specific and detailed examples to strengthen the arguments and illustrate the points more effectively. This will help to make the essay more persuasive and specific to the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Personalized attention
  • Adaptability
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Inspiration
  • Motivation
  • Lifelong learning
  • Irreplaceable
  • Modern educational technology
  • Early exposure
  • Interactive learning
  • Balanced approach
  • Technological aids
  • Future job markets
  • Need assessment
  • Investment priorities
  • Nurture
  • Educational software
  • Digital literacy
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