Schools have a limited amount of money to spend.Some people suggest that it should be spent on good teachers,while others say it should be spent on computers.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#schools #amount #money #people #teachers #computers

Education is an important part of the human being

that is

needed for society.The amount of

money

that schools can spend is limited.

While

some argue that

money

should be spent on

computers

,others argue that it should be used on qualified

teachers

.I will discuss both

Change preposition

apply

show examples

view

Fix the agreement mistake

views

show examples

in these essays and give my own point of view.

To begin

, some pupils believe that

teachers

are the backbone of all institutions. Because

students

are going to

school

when they are under 5.They do not know how to study and turn to the help of the instructor.So,highly educated people are

also

needed in the

school

who provide the proper education for all

students

However

,some people should be advised that the

money

will be spent on an appropriate person to build good

students

On the other hand

computers

are very necessary when

teachers

teach them.The technical knowledge of the student will increase with the proper use of a computer.

For instance

,it is used in computer labs and other science labs so that the

students

can adapt to modern technology and

also

gain proper knowledge from others.

Computers

are used for other

school

functions, and any work takes less time.So some people think schools should spend more

money

this

sector

To conclude

,full-fund

money

is very limited and should be spent in proper places.

Computers

are needed as much as

teachers

are needed in schools.Each gave their opinion; of course, both are required in

school

.It is believed that one is related to the other.A qualified teacher can give the right advice to the

students

, just as a computer can help a student move forward.So the

school

authority should spend

money

in both sectors.

As a result

,the bright future of the

students

will be ensured.

Submitted by nuresadikchowdhury175 on Sat Jan 20 2024

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task achievement

The essay discusses both viewpoints and provides a conclusion, meeting the basic requirements of the task. However, the response could be more comprehensive. Consider expanding on the ideas presented, ensuring all points are fully developed and explained.

coherence cohesion

The essay introduces the topic and provides a conclusion, which is good for the structure. However, the development of ideas within paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences and better linking between them. Aim to make the progression of ideas smoother and use a wider range of cohesive devices.

task achievement

Although the essay includes some examples, they are quite general. Try to provide more specific and detailed examples to strengthen the arguments and illustrate the points more effectively. This will help to make the essay more persuasive and specific to the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Personalized attention
Adaptability
Emotional intelligence
Inspiration
Motivation
Lifelong learning
Irreplaceable
Modern educational technology
Early exposure
Interactive learning
Balanced approach
Technological aids
Future job markets
Need assessment
Investment priorities
Nurture
Educational software
Digital literacy

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Schools have a limited amount of money to spend.Some people suggest that it should be spent on good teachers,while others say it should be spent on computers.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

People continue to commit crime even after being punished for it . Why do you think this happens? How can crime be stopped?

Governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move from large cities to the regional areas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that a person improves intellctual skills better when doing group activities. To what extent do you agree? Use specific details and examples to explain your view.

how can we reduce the number of people living in a poverty? How can government tackle this problem?

With a growing population, many people believe that we should focus on producing more GM foods. What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this?