Some people think that sport is very important for society. Others, however, argue that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.（重复2011 年老题）

#people #sport #society #leisure #activity

An array of

people

believe that

sport

is essential for society.

While

others argue that

sport

is only an entertainment. In my opinion,

Change the capitalization

show examples

stand with those who think that

sport

is necessary to keep the

body

healthy. Several individuals do

sport

as a leisure activity

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because they only do it in their free time. Employees are too busy with work and daily routines on the weekdays,

therefore

sports

only be done on the weekend. Many activities

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

release stress on workers,

nevertheless

sport

is one option which are not harmful and has an advantage.

Moreover

, some

people

join

sports

because they just want to keep socialising with a

sports

community and a healthy

body

is just the bonus.

For instance

, there

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

a lot of golf clubs that are joined by

businessman

Fix the agreement mistake

businessmen

show examples

, some

people

do it to expand their networking.

Sport

is more than a leisure activity with a myriad of benefits for the human

body

Moreover

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

of the human

body

also

the reason why

sport

must be considered as a habit

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because as

people

get old, the metabolic system is reduced year by year.

Therefore

Doing physical activities regularly,

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

the

body

to burn calories and could prevent individuals from chronic disease in the future.

Additionally

, working out

also

improves cardio performance,

as a result

people

are less likely to get tired. To illustrate, running is one most popular

sports

activitiesactivity

Correct your spelling

activities

and exercising it everyday for 30 minutes may prevent human obesity. In conclusion,

sport

is not only

Remove the article

apply

show examples

entertainment but to

keep

Wrong verb form

keeps

show examples

and improves

body

health. I,

therefore

, remain firmly convinced that

sport

is an indispensable activity.

Submitted by 2024successielts on Sat Jan 20 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to outline both views clearly in the introduction and conclude with a summary of both views and your own opinion, which was somewhat lacking in this essay.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the logical flow by using a wider range of linking words and phrases, and organizing ideas into clear paragraphs with one main idea each.

task achievement

Develop your main points with more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Check for grammatical errors and inconsistencies, such as using 'do sport' instead of 'participate in sports', to improve the accuracy in your essay.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Physical activity
Sedentary lifestyle
Chronic diseases
Teamwork
Cultural divides
Revenue generator
Infrastructure
Patriotism
Role models
Commercialization
Recreation
Stress-relief
Elite sports
Injury risks
Doping scandals

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Some people think that sport is very important for society. Others, however, argue that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.（重复2011 年老题）

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In cities and towns all over the world the high volume of traffic is a problem.What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem?

Some people think that newly built houses should follow the style of old houses in local areas. Others think that people should have freedom to build houses of their own style. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that reading stories form a book is better than watching tv or playing computer games for children to what extent do you agree or disagree.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Only people who earn a lot of money are successful. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.