Some people think that sport is very important for society. Others, however, argue that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.（重复2011 年老题）
An array of
people
believe that sport
is essential for society. While
others argue that sport
is only an entertainment. In my opinion, i
stand with those who think that Change the capitalization
I
sport
is necessary to keep the body
healthy.
Several individuals do sport
as a leisure activity,
because they only do it in their free time. Employees are too busy with work and daily routines on the weekdays, Remove the comma
apply
therefore
sports
only be done on the weekend. Many activities to
release stress on workers, Fix the infinitive
apply
nevertheless
sport
is one option which are not harmful and has an advantage. Moreover
, some people
join sports
because they just want to keep socialising with a sports
community and a healthy body
is just the bonus. For instance
, there is
a lot of golf clubs that are joined byCorrect subject-verb agreement
are
businessman
, some Fix the agreement mistake
businessmen
people
do it to expand their networking.
Sport
is more than a leisure activity with a myriad of benefits for the human body
. Moreover
, aging
of the human Change the spelling
ageing
body
is also
the reason why sport
must be considered as a habit,
because as Remove the comma
apply
people
get old, the metabolic system is reduced year by year. Therefore
Doing physical activities regularly, help
the Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
body
to burn calories and could prevent individuals from chronic disease in the future. Additionally
, working out also
improves cardio performance, as a result
, people
are less likely to get tired. To illustrate, running is one most popular sports
activitiesactivity
and exercising it everyday for 30 minutes may prevent human obesity.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
activities
sport
is not only an
entertainment but to Remove the article
apply
keep
and improves Wrong verb form
keeps
body
health. I, therefore
, remain firmly convinced that sport
is an indispensable activity.Submitted by 2024successielts on
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task achievement
Make sure to outline both views clearly in the introduction and conclude with a summary of both views and your own opinion, which was somewhat lacking in this essay.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by using a wider range of linking words and phrases, and organizing ideas into clear paragraphs with one main idea each.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and inconsistencies, such as using 'do sport' instead of 'participate in sports', to improve the accuracy in your essay.