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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The pie chart shows how people use four modes of transport in the city of Edmonton,as well as how the table shows data from five different driving reasons.

The pie chart shows how people use four modes of transport in the city of Edmonton,as well as how the table shows data from five different driving reasons.
#people #four #modes #transport #city #edmonton #data #five
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The chart
is describing in regards
Wrong verb form
describes
show examples
 how
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 four modes of transport in the
city
Use synonyms
 of
Edmonton
Use synonyms
, following a table that
Correct subject-verb agreement
consists
show examples
consist
Correct subject-verb agreement
consists
show examples
Change preposition
of data
show examples
data
Change preposition
of data
show examples
 from five different driving reasons. The chart
is illustrate
Change the verb form
is illustrated
show examples
 by the shape of
pie
Correct article usage
a pie
show examples
, with
coloring
Change the spelling
colouring
show examples
 to
differentiates
Wrong verb form
differentiate
show examples
 the
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
. In the image,
Use synonyms
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
 is represented by the colour red,
LRT
Correct article usage
the LRT
show examples
 as yellow,
bus
Add an article
the bus
show examples
 as blue, and
taxi
Correct article usage
the taxi
show examples
 as grey.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the illustration is easy to read
due to
Linking Words
 its percentage in each mode,
as well as
Linking Words
 the rates on the table of
people
Use synonyms
's reason for using
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 in the
city
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the data,
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
ranked
Add a missing verb
are ranked
show examples
 as the highest
transportation
Use synonyms
 that
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 in
Edmonton
Use synonyms
.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, with the percentage of opinions why
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
, it can be analyzed that
car
Use synonyms
 is preferable for work hours. As stated
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the table, 55% of
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
 to work, 45% for business, and 40% to take their children to school, meaning that
Edmonton
Use synonyms
 may not provide enough public
transportation
Use synonyms
 to reach those places.
However
Linking Words
, the activities of shopping and leisure period are both have the same rate, which is 15%, illustrating the usage of public
transportation
Use synonyms
 like LRT, bus, and taxi. It can be concluded that the
city
Use synonyms
 of
Edmonton
Use synonyms
 focuses their public
transportation
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 places to hang out
such
Linking Words
 as malls and parks.
Submitted by asmaningrum2125 on

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 82%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, use, city, edmonton, car, transportation with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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