Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#people #children #phones #school

Using mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

during the school day for

children

is still debatable. There are individuals

argue

Correct pronoun usage

who argue

show examples

that they are not allowed to use it,

while

others believe that it does not really matter.

This

essay will discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

both sides of the argument in detail and provide evidence as to why banning

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

for

children

during

school

Add an article

the school

show examples

day is superior. Mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

can destruct to the

children

's focus, especially when they are studying. Students will be noticed when there is a

pop up

Join the words

pop-up

popup

show examples

message or other

information

from their

phone

usually

Add a comma

usually,

show examples

there are

allert

Correct your spelling

alert

code

Fix the agreement mistake

codes

show examples

such

Correct your spelling

show examples

sound or vibration.

As a consequence

, they will not pay any attention to

teacher

Add an article

the teacher

show examples

who explains a subject.

For example

Correct your spelling

facebook

Capitalize word

Facebook

show examples

, or

twitter

Capitalize word

Twitter

show examples

these application

Change the determiner

this application

these applications

show examples

will always send many kinds of

information

whether it is important or not.

This

can lead to

decrease

Correct article usage

a decrease

show examples

their

Change preposition

in their

show examples

study result.

on the other hand

phone

Add an article

the phone

show examples

very

Add an article

a very

show examples

useful device. the

children

can look for any

information

, allowing them to get good knowledge quickly.

for instance

, student can learn from

youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

channel

Fix the agreement mistake

channels

show examples

which is installed on their

phone

As a result

, they will be

easely

Correct your spelling

easily

easy

undertand

Correct your spelling

understand

about the lesson material. They

also

be able to get any

information

which is always up to date from their hand. in conclusion, despite

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

esential

Correct your spelling

essential

for

children

getting

Wrong verb form

to get

show examples

any

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

information

let

Wrong verb form

letting

show examples

them use their

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

during

school

Add an article

the school

show examples

day is bad. I believe that giving them

Change preposition

apply

show examples

another time to use their mobile

phone

is better to maximize

children to get

Verb problem

children's

show examples

benefits for supplementary material.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Sat Jan 20 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Work on using a variety of sentence structures to express points clearly and accurately. Avoid run-on sentences or overly simplistic sentence construction.

coherence cohesion

Use connectors and transition phrases appropriately to help the flow of ideas. Logical connectors between ideas can enhance coherence.

task achievement

Ensure that the introduction and conclusion encapsulate the main discussion points and clearly state the writer's opinion.

task achievement

Provide relevant examples to support each point made. This will help in articulating a complete response to the task.

coherence cohesion

Proofread the essay to correct grammatical errors and improve clarity. Attention to detail can significantly enhance the quality of writing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

Distraction
Cyberbullying
Concentration
Emergency communication
Digital literacy
Educational resources
Social development
Self-regulation
Enforcement
Socioeconomic status
Technology access
Learning apps
Screen time
Peer interaction
School policy

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some people think that the environment becomes polluted the causes is garbage. Which do you think has an important role to play in solving this problem, is the government or society? Give your opinion and example.
Some individuals believe that the environment has become polluted and give rise to the seeds of the disease it causes by the garbage. To my way of thinking, it can be both due to the government and community can give more attention to this problem. This essay will provide further explanations and give examples.
<4
band
Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some think that these activities are not beneficial for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In a modern world, children are watching more television and playing video games.so, people believe that these activities are bad for children's mental health. I agree with this statement because, it cause problems like loneliness and depression to the child.
5
band
We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?
Computers are the product of the modern world and the rapid technological development we live in. Eventually, we should be thankful and grateful for its possibilities. Today, we find it difficult to get through a working day without it. This essay will extensively explain the usage of PC in the foreseeable future. Besides, we will analyze its negative impacts on society.
4.5
band
Some people believe that humans should be able to use animals for their own benefit, while others argue that the rights of animals should be protected. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
A bunch of people think that nobody has the right to kill creatures whereas, others opine that they can use them for their own benefit. I go with the latter view which I discuss in forthcoming paragraphs.
5.5
band
Some people argue that if children behave badly they parent should accept responsibility for the behaviour of children. Do you agree or disagree.
The responsibility of parents towards their children' misbehaviour has beacom a moot point in the last decades. I firmly apprebate that creating a healthy resposibile chilld depends mostly on his family.

Your opinion

Some people think that the environment becomes polluted the causes is garbage. Which do you think has an important role to play in solving this problem, is the government or society? Give your opinion and example.

Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some think that these activities are not beneficial for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?

Some people believe that humans should be able to use animals for their own benefit, while others argue that the rights of animals should be protected. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people argue that if children behave badly they parent should accept responsibility for the behaviour of children. Do you agree or disagree.