Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#people #children #phones #school

Using mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

during the school day for

children

is still debatable. There are individuals

argue

Correct pronoun usage

who argue

show examples

that they are not allowed to use it,

while

others believe that it does not really matter.

This

essay will discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

both sides of the argument in detail and provide evidence as to why banning

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

for

children

during

school

Add an article

the school

show examples

day is superior. Mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

can destruct to the

children

's focus, especially when they are studying. Students will be noticed when there is a

pop up

Join the words

pop-up

popup

show examples

message or other

information

from their

phone

usually

Add a comma

usually,

show examples

there are

allert

Correct your spelling

alert

code

Fix the agreement mistake

codes

show examples

such

Correct your spelling

show examples

sound or vibration.

As a consequence

, they will not pay any attention to

teacher

Add an article

the teacher

show examples

who explains a subject.

For example

Correct your spelling

facebook

Capitalize word

Facebook

show examples

, or

twitter

Capitalize word

Twitter

show examples

these application

Change the determiner

this application

these applications

show examples

will always send many kinds of

information

whether it is important or not.

This

can lead to

decrease

Correct article usage

a decrease

show examples

their

Change preposition

in their

show examples

study result.

on the other hand

phone

Add an article

the phone

show examples

very

Add an article

a very

show examples

useful device. the

children

can look for any

information

, allowing them to get good knowledge quickly.

for instance

, student can learn from

youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

channel

Fix the agreement mistake

channels

show examples

which is installed on their

phone

As a result

, they will be

easely

Correct your spelling

easily

easy

undertand

Correct your spelling

understand

about the lesson material. They

also

be able to get any

information

which is always up to date from their hand. in conclusion, despite

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

esential

Correct your spelling

essential

for

children

getting

Wrong verb form

to get

show examples

any

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

information

let

Wrong verb form

letting

show examples

them use their

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

during

school

Add an article

the school

show examples

day is bad. I believe that giving them

Change preposition

apply

show examples

another time to use their mobile

phone

is better to maximize

children to get

Verb problem

children's

show examples

benefits for supplementary material.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Sat Jan 20 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on using a variety of sentence structures to express points clearly and accurately. Avoid run-on sentences or overly simplistic sentence construction.

coherence cohesion

Use connectors and transition phrases appropriately to help the flow of ideas. Logical connectors between ideas can enhance coherence.

task achievement

Ensure that the introduction and conclusion encapsulate the main discussion points and clearly state the writer's opinion.

task achievement

Provide relevant examples to support each point made. This will help in articulating a complete response to the task.

coherence cohesion

Proofread the essay to correct grammatical errors and improve clarity. Attention to detail can significantly enhance the quality of writing.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Distraction
Cyberbullying
Concentration
Emergency communication
Digital literacy
Educational resources
Social development
Self-regulation
Enforcement
Socioeconomic status
Technology access
Learning apps
Screen time
Peer interaction
School policy

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Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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You saw a program on TV recently and found it unreasonable for viewers. Write a letter about its quality and content of the material presented. In tour letter Describe what you did not like Make some suggestions Say what you expect from the TV editors to do for you

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Some people think that news and media have a positive effect on our lives, while others disagree. What is your opinion?

In some countries, owning a home is more important rather than renting one. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?