Some people say that it is better to promote healthy lifestyles and a health diet than spend so much money to treat obese people.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, the rising rate of
obesity
Use synonyms
has sparked a debate about whether governments and health organizations should focus more on promoting healthy lifestyles and balanced diets rather than allocating massive funds to treat
obesity
Use synonyms
-related conditions. I strongly agree with the idea that preventive measures
such
Linking Words
as encouraging healthy habits are more effective and sustainable than spending extensively on
treatment
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, promoting a healthy lifestyle can significantly reduce the incidence of
obesity
Use synonyms
. When people are educated about the importance of regular physical activity, balanced nutrition, and mental well-being, they are more likely to make healthier choices.
For example
Linking Words
, public health campaigns in countries like Japan and Sweden have successfully reduced
obesity
Use synonyms
rates by encouraging walking, cycling, and healthy eating habits through schools and media. Prevention not only improves
quality
Add an article
the quality
show examples
of life but
also
Linking Words
reduces the burden on the healthcare system in the long run.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
treatment
Use synonyms
for
obesity
Use synonyms
is often costly and not always effective. Medical interventions
such
Linking Words
as surgery or long-term medication may help some patients, but they do not address the root causes of
obesity
Use synonyms
. Without lifestyle changes, people may regain weight, leading to a cycle of
treatment
Use synonyms
and relapse.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the financial burden of treating
obesity
Use synonyms
-related illnesses like diabetes, heart disease, and joint problems can overwhelm national health budgets, especially in countries with limited resources.
However
Linking Words
, it is important to recognize that
treatment
Use synonyms
should still be available for those who are already suffering from
obesity
Use synonyms
. Some individuals may have genetic or psychological factors that make weight management more difficult, and they deserve compassionate care.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the ideal approach should involve a balance:
prioritize
Correct word choice
and prioritize
show examples
prevention through education and healthy policy-making
while
Linking Words
still supporting those who need medical help. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
medical
treatment
Use synonyms
for
obesity
Use synonyms
is sometimes necessary, I believe that promoting healthy lifestyles and diets should be the primary focus. It is more cost-effective, sustainable, and beneficial for society as a whole.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
The clarity of your argument and logical flow throughout the essay are commendable. You effectively introduce your main idea and develop your argument with supporting details and examples, making it easy for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive measures
  • cost-effective
  • obesity-related diseases
  • public health costs
  • quality of life
  • life expectancy
  • health education
  • infrastructure
  • physical activity
  • healthcare systems
  • medical interventions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: