Some people believe that watching TV is bad for children, while others claim it has positive effects for children as they grow up. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

While
it is widely claimed that watching
TV
is beneficial for
children
when they become adults, some argue that
TV
is bad for offspring. Both points of view and the reason why I believe that
TV
has more positive
effects
than negative will be elaborated on
this
Change preposition
in this
show examples
essay.
To begin
with, it might seem sensible for some to believe that
TV
consumption is bad for
children
.
This
is possibly because there is some inappropriate content on
TV
,
for instance
, in action films, there is violent behaviour
such
as fighting, shooting, or robbing, and kids who consume that content can imitate those which is not good for society at large.
On the other hand
, opponents of
this
idea might propose that there are positive
effects
on
TV
. To put
in other words
, educational programs on
TV
can supply learning materials for
children
,
for example
, they can learn English through English language cartoons, certain shows can enhance creativity and imagination, and exposure to different cultures. Personally, I would argue in favour of positive
effects
, because when I was young, I learned the English language via cartoons on a cartoon network channel, and
this
is a fun way to learn, unlike learning at school. In school, kids might find that learning new languages is hard because some teachers teach their students in a stressful way. In conclusion,
althought
Correct your spelling
although
it is undeniable that kids should not watch
TV
, I am of the opinion that watching
TV
has more positive than negative
effects
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
children
.
Submitted by 07lampoon-read on

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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure of your essay, ensure that each paragraph clearly introduces its main point, develops it fully, and concludes with a brief summary or a transition to the next idea. Additionally, adding topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can provide a clearer guide to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are distinct and fully serve their purposes. The introduction should provide a clear outline of the discussion, while the conclusion should effectively summarize the main points, and restate your opinion without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
To better support your main points, include more detailed examples and elaborate on how they directly relate to the argument. Rather than just stating a benefit or drawback, explain the impact it has on children and provide evidence or anecdotes to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
For task achievement, ensure that you respond to all aspects of the prompt in a balanced manner. Your response should not only discuss both views, but also maintain a clear position throughout the essay. Expand on your ideas to show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Present your ideas more clearly and comprehensively by expanding your explanations. Use varied sentence structures and vocabulary to express your points, and avoid repetition of ideas by exploring different facets of each argument.
task achievement
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. Instead of mentioning a general idea, like 'cartoons on a cartoon network channel,' specify which programs and how they contributed to language learning or personal growth to better illustrate your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary behavior
  • unrealistic perceptions
  • creative pursuits
  • social development
  • emotional development
  • constructive content
  • screen time
  • parental guidance
  • critical thinking
  • active learning
  • age-appropriate
  • media literacy
  • family bonding
  • moderation
  • perceive
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